Over Four Million People Kare About the Kardashians

America has many problems: double-digit unemployment; a bickering Congress that can't get anything done; professionals athletes that tag anything with breasts. But this may be the most glaring issue facing our great country: a fascination with people that have accomplished absolutely nothing and offer positively zero to society. For example, the fourth season premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians somehow racked up 4.1 million viewers on Sunday night. 4.1 million! More women watched the episode than any in the network's history. What could possibly prompt an individual to care about the scripted fortunes of Kourtney, Kim and Khloe Kardashian?...

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Erin Andrews Wants Maximum Sentence For Stalker

Erin Andrews faced her stalker in court for the first time yesterday. Not surprisingly, she pleaded with a judge to show no mercy to peephole perv Michael David Barrett, who she broke into tears when she first saw. Minutes later, the Illinois insurance executive stood before a federal judge and admitted he hunted Andrews down at hotels in three different cities. While he never encountered her, Barrett said he filmed videos of Erin Andrews nude through her hotel rooms' peepholes and posting them online. "I am a victim of this sexual predator. I would like to see him immediately put in prison for as long as possible," the ESPN reporter told the...

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Ashley Greene Offers Prom Advice

Twilight Saga star Ashley Greene has a lot of knowledge to pass along to young people. For instance: Never take nude photos of yourself with a digital camera. The actress also covers the latest issue of TeenPROM and offers advice to all high schoolers about to embark on this rite of passage. Pay close attention, kids... On planning for the event: “Definitely plan ahead because the actual day can be kind of stressful. Planning everything out helps a lot. When picking out your dress, make sure you’re really comfortable in it because you are going to be dancing around, moving around, sitting, eating and all of that stuff.” On comfort: “Be yourself...

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Whitney Port Speaks on Whitney Eve Fashion Line

Whitney Eve, a new fashion line from Whitney Port of The City fame, hits boutiques January 30 and features everything from sharply tailored blazers and breezy rainbow-hued blouses to glittery cocktail dresses with sky-high hemlines. Here's what Whitney told Women's Wear Daily about her line ... WWD: How does New York differ from L.A. in terms of fashion? Whitney Port: I think New York fashion is a lot more sophisticated, more forward-thinking. People are more willing to take chances here. People take more pride in clothing they wear and obviously they have to dress for the elements. WWD: Do you ever see yourself venturing into accessories?...

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Teresa Giudice Vomits at Sight of Bethenny Frankel Naked

The thought of Tara Reid nude in Playboy makes us sick. Apparently, Teresa Giudice can relate. The Real Housewife of New Jersey responded to Bethenny Frankel's naked PETA ad yesterday and Tweeted: "To quote Bethenny: 'I just threw up a little in my mouth.'" Giudice - whose feud with Frankel stems from a September interview the latter gave in which she referred to Teresa as her "least favorite housewife" because she's "whiny and unintelligent" - added that Bethenny is a liar. The reality TV bragged this week that she was "already pregnant" when the photo was taken and was "pleased" with how it turned out "because it doesn't look like there's...

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Holly Sampson Denies Mistress Status, Plans Porn Spoof of One-Night Stand with Tiger Woods

Holly Sampson wants to set the record straight: She once nailed Tiger Woods, sure.But since it was just that one time, and it was only his bachelor party, so he wasn't married at the time, and that doesn't make her a mistress! That's the porn star's story, anyway. There are those pesky reports of her being a prostitute and Woods using her escort service, but what can you do. "I'm not his mistress," she said. "I've never been his mistress." "I just don't believe in sleeping with married men. If I had the opportunity to sleep with Tiger while he was married I would never have done that." Mistress or not, Holly tells Extra she's currently in talks...

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Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal Break Up

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are no longer together. We know you're sad. Please, hold a vigil tonight in your area. The two end things two weeks ago, even as they insisted they hadn't. "They needed time to figure it out and they were on different coasts," a source says. "When they were finally together, they talked things out and decided they're not going to be together anymore. There are no other people involved." "The relationship just ended, as is often the case. It just fizzled out. But they also wanted to be careful and private about it because of Reese's kids." FAREWELL, GYLLENSPOON: Jake and Reese had a good run. The new never...

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Kendra Wilkinson Shows Off, Profits From Hank Baskett IV

During her time with Hugh Hefner, Kendra Wilkinson learned how to use her vagina; change diapers; and make headlines. Now, in her marriage to Hank Baskett, the former Girl Next Door has mastered all three skills. She squeezed out her first kid last week, giving birth to Hank Baskett IV on December 11. Mere days later, from her hospital room, Kendra spoke to OK! Weekly about the process of child bearing. "I was induced early in the morning; then it was wait, wait, wait. I was experiencing contractions throughout the day, and I was anxious. I kept checking the monitor every second, like 'Is it happening yet?'" she said. Once the tyke was born,...

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Judge to Lindsay Lohan: Get it Together!

Lindsay Lohan may be "in compliance" with the terms of her DUI probation, but a judge ordered the star to step it up with her alcohol education classes. "I am going to order [that] this has to be done. It’s been long enough," Judge Marsha Revel declared at L.A. Superior Court in Beverly Hills on Tuesday. The train wreck must now start "attending every single week" in order to fulfill the more than six months of program time necessary by July 15, 2010. "This has to be the top priority whether she has a job somewhere else or something else comes up," Revel said. "This has to be done once a week." Lindsay Lohan needs more AA meetings. And food....

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Noah Cyrus Smacks That, All On the Floor

Sorry, Miley Cyrus supporters. But you can no longer wonder why your role model was named the Worst Celebrity Influence of 2009. After all, she's apparently been showing little sister Noah Cyrus just what she and Liam Hemsworth do in the bedroom. Backstage at a concert this week, Miley and a few dancers whooped and hollered in encouragement as the nine-year old danced to Akon's "Smack That" and sung lyrics that include: Smack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh ooh Watch below, as Noah possibly gets bent over, looks back and sees her older sister cheering on her inappropriate antics: Smacking That Remember Noah's Halloween outfit, too? The Cyrus family has this tyke primed to pose for Playboy and/or sleep with Tiger Woods as soon...

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Movers Arrive as Elin Woods Prepares to Leave Tiger

With each passing day, it's looking like less of a question of whether Elin Nordegren Woods will leave cheating husband Tiger and more a matter of when. Moving crews yesterday descended on the family's Florida mansion, where Tiger Woods' furious wife has been living since his sexual escapades blew up. "She's making plans to move out and take the kids," a New York Post source said. She's planning to go somewhere warm and Tiger-free for Christmas." As for why the scorned spouse, who's already been seen without her wedding ring, stuck around this long? "Their son had the flu, but he's now recovered." Workers pulled up to the Windermere, Fla., estate...

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THG Caption Contest Winner For December 15

Yesterday, readers were given the challenge of writing the best caption for this classic picture of Jon Gosselin gesturing and saying ... well, that was up to you. Your THG Caption Contest winner for this pic: shellga. Congratulations on a job well done! The winning entry appears below the photo, and you can click here to read the full list of submissions sent in for it. Thanks to everyone for playing! Good luck next time! STORK? WHAT STORK? DID SOMEONE SAY STORK??? SH...TT!!!!...

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Jake Pavelka Believes in The Bachelor Process

Jake Pavelka was billed as Mr. Perfect last season on The Bachelorette. Too perfect, in fact, for Jillian Harris, who found no spark with Jake despite the hunky pilot's good looks, sweet demeanor and readiness to settle down. Now, as the newly-minted star of The Bachelor, Jake is buckled up and will be calling the shots on the 14th installment of ABC's reality dating bonanza. Below, he gets ready for takeoff in a new Q&A with the N.Y. Post ... Q: You said you “had your heart broken” by Jillian on The Bachelorette. Was it weird to watch after you finished taping? How do you feel about her now? Jake Pavelka: When I left the show, I was really...

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Taylor Swift is Really Intriguing, Awesome

People magazine has recognized Taylor Swift with her second-biggest honor of the week. First, THG editors named the superstar the seventh most important celebrity of 2009. Now, the aforementioned publication has placed Swift on the cover of its special year-end issue, dubbing her one of the 25 most fascinating individuals of the past 12 months. Replied Taylor, when asked about her life these days? "It feels like this ongoing dream." It's pretty much impossible to dislike Swift, considering she sounds more mature and more grounded the more successful she becomes. "You can stay the same person, even if everything around you changes," she tells...

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Angelina Jolie Suicide Attempt Alleged By Tabloid

Like, OMG. Angelina Jolie was apparently thisclose to ending it all before Brad Pitt heroically saved her from a rash suicide attempt, a certain tabloid reports. While we can't avoid giving the National Enquirer its due - they blew the lid off Isaiah Washington f-word gate, John Edwards' love child with Rielle Hunter and Tiger Woods' affair with Rachel Uchitel - we're not buying this for a second. Whether you believe it or not is up to you, but the gossip rag reports that after recently falling into a deep depression, Angelina Jolie attempted suicide! Fortunately, life partner Brad Pitt sprung into action to make sure the mother of his 147...

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Courtney Love Bashes Frances Bean Cobain, Blames Kurt's Mom For His Death on Facebook

Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of the late Kurt Cobain, is now under the guardianship of the rock legend's mom and sister after her mom lost custody. In turn, Frances Bean has incurred Courtney Love's Facebook wrath. No reason was given for the guardianship change or her loss of custody, as the Cobains say it's a private matter. But Love recently ranted on Facebook: "I hate to sound cold but any kid of mine who pulls this $h!t has lost her position. She was deceptive, she lied and even worse she's lying to herself." "My daughter is not always honest." Love says Frances Bean Cobain isn't as rich as she thinks and is "clearly deluded" if she thinks...

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Prosecutors Say Robert Halderman Feared Getting Whacked By David Letterman After Shakedown

Before Tiger Woods took his crown, David Letterman was the king of extramarital sex scandals this year. The Late Show host's involved an extortion plot. Prosecutors in the case released transcripts of conversations clandestinely recorded of Robert "Joe" Halderman, who allegedly blackmailed Letterman. "The defendant's threat was simple: Unless Mr. Letterman paid $2 million, defendant Halderman would make public information about a purported sexual relationship between Mr. Letterman and his assistant," said the feds in court papers. Why $2 million? "Because that amount would enable him to visit his son [in California] without needing to demand...

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The Runaways Promo Pic: Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are both moving on. Not from each other, don't worry Robsten fans! But each actor has expanded his/her resume beyond the Twilight Saga, as Pattinson is set to star in Remember Me, while Stewart takes on the iconic role of rocker Joan Jett in The Runaways. The upcoming biopic focuses on the 1970s female rock group by that name, specifically Jett and lead vocalist/keyboardist Cherie Currie (Dakota Fanning). Both young actresses are pictured on the first promotional poster for the movie. See below: Stewart, Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and company are far from finished with the Twilight franchise, of course....

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Rihanna Beats Chris Brown

Rihanna has beaten Chris Brown pretty badly ... in terms of first-week album sales for their newly-released efforts. Not the way Chris ... well, you know. Brown's new album Graffiti debuted at No. 7 on the Billboard charts, selling 102,000 copies (Susan Boyle's I Dreamed a Dream sold 582,000 at No. 1). That's quite a bit less than his ex, Rihanna, sold when Rated R debuted last month, entering the charts at No. 3 with sales of 181,000 in its first week. Chris' sales didn't knock any socks off, but could've been worse. Imagine if Walmart actually refused to sell Brown's CD - as "MechanicalDummy" (emphasis on Dummy) himself erroneously ranted...

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AnnaLynne McCord Shows Off Cleaveage for Cosmo

On season two of 90210, the show has clearly made an effort to shove Shenae Grimes' Annie into the background. As Naomi, AnnaLynne McCord has emerged as the series star. There are multiple reasons for this switch, not the least of which being it's difficult to see Grimes when she turns sideways and the producers are afraid a strong gust of wind might blow her out of the scene at any time. In other words: she's really thin. But, in the latest issue of Cosmopolitan, McCord shows off another reason for her promotion on the series. Well, two other reasons... Of course, McCord could also benefit from a burger or two dozen. But she looks rather cute...

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Stephen Colbert Raps, Is in Empire State of Mind

Move over, Jay-Z. The hip hop mogul, whose "Empire State of Mind" is one the most popular songs of 2009, might need to find a new line of work. After all, Alicia Keys has evidently found a new duet partner on the hit single. On last night's installment of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert grabbed a mic (and a hoodie) and rapped his own verse of the song, offering a shout-out to NYC's suburbs that included lines such as "My shorties are all private school educated" and: I love New York/King of all the cities/Lived up by the Guggenheim/Til i got some kiddies...

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Carrie Underwood Would Like a Family Someday

She's the queen of country, but Carrie Underwood would to settle down and a family someday. This is a modest life goal, but a timeless, wonderful one. It's not really news, but 1. It gives us a chance to stare at her new Self magazine cover, and 2. Not every celebrity news article must be a scandal! In January's Self, the country star gets specific about her ideal family size: "Someday I'd like to start a family. Not a big one, but not a small one." The middle ground between "big" and "small"? "Two kids is good," the Oklahoman explains. "Three is probably fine. Four?" "Somebody's getting something done, because we ain't having five!" You got...

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Jaime Faith Edmondson Nude in Playboy: Coming Soon!

From reality TV to raunchy must-see. Jaime Faith Edmondson, who finished second on the 14th season of The Amazing Race, has been selected as the January 2010 Playmate of the Month. She gives men a reason to purchase the upcoming edition of the magazine, as a scary Tara Reid cover clearly isn't enough. While Edmondson possesses the kind of beauty typically reserved for centerfolds, she also possesses a unique background: she's a former police offer and holds a degress in criminal justice from Florida Atlantic University. Soon after Jaime and Cara Rosenthal came in second on The Amazing Race, they were approached by Playboy. But Rosenthal turned...

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Sarah Palin Goes Rogue, Scribbles Out John McCain's Name on Blue Visor

Is Sarah Palin going rogue? You betcha, and with a permanent marker this time! Check out what she just did to a nice John McCain 2008 campaign visor! The former governor and last year's failed V.P. nominee is on vacation with her son Trig, her daughter Piper and her heterosexual spouse Todd in Hawaii. Sarah chose to wear a visor from the '08 campaign, and for whatever reason, decided she didn't want to advertise the Republican on top of the ticket. Check out her vote against John McCain ... scrawled with black ink: Sarah Palin had no other visors around, but did have a marker. In addition to the odd political non-statement emblazoned on her...

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Melissa Rycroft Wedding Photos, Details: Revealed!

A year ago, Melissa Rycroft couldn't have been farther off the celebrity gossip radar. Now, months after being dumped on national TV by Jason Mesnick, the former reality TV star has come full circle: she's happily married and gracing the cover of In Touch Weekly. Inside the issue, the beautiful new bride gushes about her dream wedding, which took place opposite Tye Strickland in Isla Mujeres, Mexico on December 12. "I was fine until 'Here Comes the Bride' started," Rycroft said "I think everything hit me at once. My dad started to walk down the aisle, and I just stopped him. I grabbed his arm, and I was like, 'Hold on,' and I started crying....

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Chris Henry Badly Injured in Car Crash; Domestic Dispute with Loleini Tonga to Blame?

Chris Henry, a receiver with the NFL's Cincinnati Bengals, was seriously injured after falling out of the back of a pickup truck during a domestic dispute. Following the incident with his fiancee, Loleini Tonga, Henry was found on a Charlotte road "apparently suffering life-threatening injuries" police say. Henry was transported to Carolinas Medical Center, the local trauma unit, but spokesman Scott White said he was not listed in hospital records. Police officers say Henry jumped into the bed of the pickup truck as his unidentified fiance was driving away from an area home. Officials said: "A domestic situation continued between the operator...

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Tiger Woods and Jessica Simpson: Heavy Flirting, Touchy Feely Action Exposed!

It's been a couple of weeks since Tiger Woods was linked to Rachel Uchitel. And Jamie Grubbs. And Kalika Moquin. And Jamie Jungers, and Mindy Lawton, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson, Joslyn James, Loredana Jolie, Julie Postle and Theresa Rogers. We've become numb to the ever-growing list of Tiger Woods mistresses at this point. Dude bedded waitesses, we get it. It's not like he was linked to a celebrity. Or was he?! According to Star, none other than Jessica Simpson was in "Tiger’s little black book" and days before her split with Tony Romo, she had a "sizzling meeting" with the fallen golf star at the AT&T National Pro-Am golf tournament in Bethesda,...

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