March 22, 2010

Vida Guerra’s Cleavage Impresses

I don’t believe that Vida Guerra does anything, other than maybe help thousands of teenage boys go blind, but I like the way she does it. Here she is at some event showing off more than a little cleavage. I’m pretty sure I could stick a book in between those things and it wouldn’t move. I can think a few more interesting things to stick in there, but I don’t want to seem crass. Besides, I’m just enjoying the show.

Britney Spears’s Nipples Need Straightening Out

Jesus! Britney Spears has got some odd nipples. Here she is doing what I imagine she does at least twice a day, loading up of caffeine and orange soda at the convenience store like the classy broad that she is. I appreciate that she wore some short shorts and went braless in a little top, but thoseBritney Spears nipples need to be reigned in. They’re out of control, I’ve heard of wandering eyes, but wandering nipples? I met a chick with a wandering eye once and I didn’t know where the hell to look, I kept thinking she was looking behind me at someone who was about to strangle me. It freaked me out and made for a very awkward one night stand.

Shauna Sand Side Boob Photos

shauna sand bikini pictures

Shauna Sand was at Malibu Beach yesterday celebrating the coming of spring dressed in one of her usual tiny bikinis. Accompanied by her latest boy toy, Shauna sun bathed for a while and then climbed on top of a rental jet ski. She must have enjoyed the straddling and the power of the vibrating engine between her legs, because once her first hour of skiing was up, she insisted they’d do it for one more hour. Her boyfriend obliged and the couple ended up riding the jet ski all afternoon long.

Although she tried to keep her boobs inside her bikini top, at some point those big puppies were about to escape due to all the bouncing and wave jumping. As a result we got these great photos of Shauna Sand’s side boobs. Enjoy!


Michelle McGee is a Nazi Wannabe

Michelle McGee nazi pictures

Michelle McGee, the woman who sent Sandra Bullock’s marriage into turmoil not long ago when it became public knowledge that the actress’ husband, Jesse James, had a lover, is the center to yet another scandal. TMZ has unearthed photos of McGee in accessorized with Nazi paraphernalia.

What’s more, according to TMZ:

In child custody documents filed in January, Michelle’s ex-husband says she “makes the Nazi salute,” and has a swastika tattooed on her stomach. […] the letter “w” is on Michelle’s left leg, and the letter “p” on her right. We’re told Michelle tells people it stands for “white power.”

I have no idea why someone would trade Sandra Bullock for someone like Michelle McGee, except for the fact that she poses naked, has big plastic tits and is probably a wild fuck. Actually that makes Michell McGee sound quite interesting, but I still wouldn’t throw Sandra Bullock out of bed for eating crackers.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Cast Revealed

Like I need another reality show full of ridiculous, superficial women to obsess over. But Bravo’s giving me one anyway. Just like when you get a new puppy after losing your family pet of ten years, I never think I’m ever going to be able to love another group of this bitches..but I do. Every time.

From left to right here is the new cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Kim Richards, Lisa Vanderpump-Todd, Kyle Richards, Camille Donatacci Grammer and Adrienne Maloof-Nassif.

Learn more about the ladies of Beverly Hills, including who is married to a famous actor and who is Paris Hilton’s aunt, after the jump!

bev-hills

Here’s what we know about the queens of 90210…

Kim and Kyle Richards: Kathy Hilton’s younger sisters both have acting backgrounds, which of course they don’t need because Housewives is real. Kim Richards, 45 and twice divorced, has four children. Her sister, Kyle, 41, is married with four daughters.

Adrienne Maloof-Nassif: The 48-year-old’s family owns everything from the Palms to the Sacramento Kings. She is married to Dr. Paul Nassif, a plastic surgeon who has appeared on multiple episodes of E!’s Dr. 90210. (Does he offer a Housewife discount?)

Camille Donatacci Grammer: The 41-year-old former Playboy model has been married to Frasier star Kelsey Grammer for 13 years. The Hollywood couple have a 9-year-old daughter, Mason, and a 6-year-old son, Jude. Both children were born via a surrogate mother after Grammer was diagnosed with (TMI alert!) severe irritable bowel syndrome.

Lisa Vanderpump-Todd: The one-time actress co-owns two restaurants with her husband, Kenneth Todd, and has two children named Pandora and Max and an adopted son, Cedric. The restaurateur made news recently when her Bentley was stolen out of her garage and later found in a ditch near Mulholland Drive—the same day Charlie Sheen’s ravine-bound vehicle went AWOL. A source tells E! News that Real Housewives “will definitely” shoot scenes at Vanderpump-Todd Beverly Hills restaurant Villa Blanca, which must have plenty of tables for enraged Housewives to flip.

Twilight Fans Not There For Kristen Stewart-Robert Pattinson’s Other Projects

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are clearly going to have to work harder to have a successful career outside of the Twilight franchise. Remember Me bombed it’s opening weekend earlier this month and this past weekend it was the same for Kristen’s Joan Jett biopic The Runaways. The fans have spoken, and they don’t want to see their hero/heroine in any other role than Edward and Bella.

Alice In Wonderland held the top box office spot for the third weekend in a row this week with Diary of a Whimpy Kid coming in second. They were followed for The Bounty Hunter in the number three spot and Jude Law’s Repo Man in fourth place.

The Runaways opened weakly with $803,629 in 244 theaters, averaging $3,294 a cinema. Yikes. That’s bad.

If Kristen and Rob can’t turn their Twilight fame into a strong career, what chance does the rest of the cast have? I have a feeling Nikki Reed, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz will life-long B-listers who will still be headlining the Twilight convention ten years from now.

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Pictures: Tila Tequila’s Yard Sale Needed Police Enforcement

Tila Tequila hosted a ‘yard sale’ at her home over the weekend, and in true attention-whore fashion she had the police, bodyguards and the paparazzi there.

You can draw your own conclusions as to just how broke Tila is to sell off her shoes and child-sized t-shirts. I mostly posted these pictures because it struck me funny that all the girls lined up to get into her indoor yard sale have a snowballs chance in hell of fitting into anything this celebutard ever owned.

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No Fake Boobs Allowed In “Pirates of the Caribbean 4″

I love this story. Disney recently published a casting noticed for females roles in the fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie and it clearly states: “Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants.”

The New York Post reports that actresses will be put to a “jiggle” test, and they’ll immediately be sent packing if their artificial bust doesn’t bounce.

The fourth installment in the Pirates series, titled On Stranger Tides. And even though fan favorites Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley won’t be reprising their roles, there will still be plenty to look forward to. Penélope Cruz is joining the franchise as the daughter of the legendary Blackbeard (Ian McShane) — and Jack Sparrow’s love interest!

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Reese Witherspoon Holding Hands With New Man

Reese Witherspoon did her ‘beard’ time with Jake Gyllenhaal and now she has a real man.

Reese has officially gone public with her new boyfriend/agent Jim Toth while spending the weekend in Ojai, California.

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Boy George Tweets Affection for Adam Lambert

The flamboyant torch was passed in London last night.

Hosting a party in honor of his new single, Boy George met up with Adam Lambert and had nothing but positive things to say about the man whose look rivals that of the long-time singer. Tweeted George:

Adam lambert is lovely, we met tonite. He's a beauty! And very normal in the best possible sense.... Adam was the highlight!

George and Adam

Mischa Barton’s Credit Cards Declined At Grocery Store

Just recently we wrote about our suspicion that Mischa Barton was going broke because our logic was: she hasn’t received any good, steady income in a while; she probably overspent her money when she was making some, like most celebrities with low IQ’s do; she’s selling her $8.4 million house, which is a shining example of over indulgent spending. So to us, those three things equal being broke.

And we think we’re right because now it seems Mischa was at a Whole Foods ready to pay for the cooked pasta she wanted to purchase, and bam her credit card is denied. So Mischa tried another and bam it was denied. Mind you, this how much can cooked pasta dish cost? Less than twelve bucks? And since she didn’t have any cash, her friend had to rescue her and pay for it. According to witnesses Mischa was pretty embarrassed and kept ducking her head on the way out of the store.

We Have a New Dumb Stage Mom to Write About?

Dear Lord, how did this new E! reality show get on the air? We know, because everyone loves to watch the accident on the side of the road. And if you’re looking to get that sick part of you filled you’re going to love the new train wreck of a family that makes up the cast of “Pretty Wild”.

“Pretty Wild” is about three bimbos. And we don’t mean the three sisters that are the focus of the show. We mean two of the sisters and their mom. The younger sixteen year old sister, so far, seems a bit more centered.

Tess Taylor, 19, Alexis Neiers, 18, and Gabby Neiers, 16, will get filmed as they go on a quest to be famous. The train wreck of a family is lead by equally dumb mom Andrea Neiers, who is a former lingerie model and acts as Tess and Alexis’ manager. Yeah, wise move girls. So far she’s about as smart as a parent as a rock. In the first episode we saw the dumbest of the girls, Alexis get arrested for suspicion of being involved with the “Hollywood Burglar Bunch”, a group suspected of breaking and stealing from the homes of many celebrities including Orlando Bloom, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and others. So the show will also follow the trial.