January 14, 2011

Ricky Romance Offers Nonsensical, Backhanded Apology For Chris Brown Death Threat

Ricky Romance has finally issued an apology for threatening to kill Chris Brown, but some of his words may ring empty ... or at least confusing as hell.

For an "apology," it actually seems like an attack on Chris - who feuded with Raz B, Ricky's brother, last month - using words you need a Dictionary for.

Among Ricky R's gems - fallaciloquences (deceitful speech), nanocephalous (having abnormally small head), and humgruffin (heck if we know).

CB PhotoRomance, Ricky

Ricky Romance's apology to Chris Brown is ... unique.

Offering "apologies to the elderly and youth of our nation for my sudden acrasial message of violence towards other individuals of unimportance," he says, "I must eclaircise any misunderstandings that I am a Man of irrational aggression."

"In no way am I attempting to justify my actions towards persons of high immaturity levels and hypocritical methods of 'becoming a better person,' I was wrong."

"My unexpected reaction to fallaciloquences embellished with deceitful humgruffin cover-ups and unnecessary remarks towards my younger brother enraged me."

"I couldn’t seem to fathom how a immature nanocephalous adult raglan tailored ex-batman and a jean maillot wearing macrotus, labrose, kazachoc like dancing, woman beater callent could make such comments and pass judgment to an abuse victim."

"At the moment I was infuriated. Please let my actions be as a lesson as what not to do. You must vastate yourself to aggression and search for other solutions."

"Threatening closet coward human beings only leads their tearful plea for restraining orders, desperate cries for help from 'affiliating gang bangers' and countless whiney excuses - I.E. 'she hit me first!!' to the media and courts, which could possibly result unwanted circumstances.

"As for the once semi high powered homosexual perverts, molesters and child rapists of the Industry, I vaticinate justice will be brought to you on Judgment Day."

"I leave this to God though. Please except my apology, obviously knowing the message can always be heard if ears are around . Thank you."

- Ricky Romance

There you go. Feel better Chris? We're sure you'll sleep well now.

Jesse James & Kat Von D: Back/Still On!

Proving that their relationship is still going strong, or is going strong again after their rumored breakup, Kat Von D Tweeted proof of her love for Jesse James.

See below. They appear to be locked in a passionate kiss.

Jesse James and Kat Von D started dating in August, after he finalized his divorce with Sandra Bullock, but hit some bumps in the road late last year.

Jesse and Kat Photo

Nice to see that tatted couple is back in full effect.

During their rumored split, Kat was rumored to have reconciled with ex Nikki Sixx, who briefly dated Denise Richards in recent weeks as well. It's a crazy world.

James has kept a low profile since his affair with Michelle McGee (who was recently linked to Charlie Sheen) blew the lid off his double life in March of last year.

It's all good now, though. They recently took a trip together to visit the mother of his daughter Sunny, Jamie Lindemulder. Sunny turned seven on New Year's Day.

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal: How Did It End?

He was older and he hated the attention.

Those were the reasons cited by sources for Jake Gyllenhaal's decision to split with Taylor Swift after a few weeks of dating.

But the latest issue of Us Weekly claims to have all the real scoop on the break-up, highlighted by this supposed fact: Jake dumped Taylor over the phone!

If true, this would mark the second time Swift has received sad news in such a manner. Joe Jonas (in)famously broke her heart with a 27-second call a couple years ago.

Taylor on Us

How is Taylor taking the split? Not well.

At last week's People's Choice Awards, a friend says the singer “was not her usual bubbly self. She didn’t eat anything, seemed very sad and definitely wasn’t having a good time."

At one point, Taylor found Selena Gomez and reportedly and said to her: ‘It’s so good to see you. I need a friend tonight.’”

Jared Lee Loughner Arrest Records, Bullying History: Revealed

On the day Barack Obama delivered a moving address at the Arizona memorial service for the victims of last week's tragic shooting in Tuscon, new information about Jared Lee Loughner was revealed.

According to police records, the 22-year old accused of killing six people and seriously wounding Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was arrested twice as a juvenile, once for marijuana possession and once for possession of alcohol.

Jared Lee Loughner Mug Shot

The first incident occurred in May 2006, when Loughner was admitted to the emergency room after consuming a bottle of vodka he later said he stole from his parents because he became “very upset after his dad yelled” at him.

The second arrest took place in September 2007 following a traffic stop that resulted in cops discovering a joint in Loughner's ashtray and a pipe in his pocket.

Loughner was also the victim of bullying on more than one occasion.

In September 2004, police were called to Mountain View High School after Loughner was "stuck with a pin – a stolen type needle, in the cafeteria," according to official reports.

Finally, in October 2008, Loughner contacted local police because he believed a former friend had posted a fake, disparaging MySpace profile about him.

No action was taken, and none of this is meant as an excuse for Loughner's alleged, horrific actions. It's simply a look into the history of a seriously troubled young man.

Angelina Jolie: (Not) Expecting Baby No. 7!!!

No. Way.

Having just gotten married** to Brad Pitt, we knew Angelina Jolie would be yearning for another child. But we never expected it would happen so soon.

It's official, apparently. In Touch hath declared that the seventh child of the celebrity world's golden couple is on the way. At some point. Possibly.

Congratulations!!!!

Baby No. 7, Baby!

LUCKY 7: Hey, at least they didn't say she's pregnant. Claiming Brangelina "set a date" to bring home their next child leaves things much more open-ended.

While it's true that Brangelina did visit Namibia recently, it's doubtful they made any plans to adopt yet another child. They have their hands full with six.

Plus, this magazine will likely say they're splitting up or that Brad nailed Jen by next week. Zero credibility. Lots of humorous value, but no credibility.

Keira Knightley and Rupert Friend: Its's Over!

Keira Knightley no longer has a friend. Rupert Friend, that is.

The long-time couple has split, according to the actress' father. He told The Sun: "They have broken up. They were together for quite a long time and it is always hard breaking up. She's focused on her work."

Keira Knightley and Rupert Friend Picture

Knightley and Friend met in 2005 while filming Pride and Prejudice. She just complete filming on A Dangerous Method, while he will appear in the movie 5 Days of August later this year.

Breaking Dawn Sex Scene Pic: Released, Hot!

When is a small, grainy photo worthy of a major OMG alert?

When it's your first look at the Edward/Bella sex scene from Breaking Dawn. Oh, yes, you read that correctly!

In the upcoming movie, the characters played by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart get it on during their wedding night. It's a vital scene, about which director Bill Condon tells Entertainment Weekly:

“The anticipation is part of it and you want to play with what people expect and maybe subvert it a little and surprise them.”

Pick up the latest issue of that magazine for a better look at the following image, but check out the photo now if you simply can't wait any longer:

Breaking Dawn Sex Scene

Kate Gosselin Bikini Photo: Hot or Not?

Let's be honest, Kate Gosselin is looking pretty good these days.

We realize any attraction is mitigated largely by the fact that we're talking about Kate Gosselin, but you've got to hand it to her on her workout regimen.

With Kate's poor, tried kids in tow, she lounged in a bikini by the pool Australia this week. Would you go Down Under with her, if you know what we mean?!!?

If you don't know what we mean, it's spelled out below ...

Hot Kate Gosselin Bikini Pic

The mother of eight heats up Australia ... or does she! [Photo: Pacific Coast News]

Michael Douglas Plans Public Appearance, Return to Work

Michael Douglas will attend the Golden Globe Awards this Sunday, marking the actor's first public appearance since declaring himself cancer-free.

But the actor will be doing more than just walking the red carpet in the near future: he's ready to get back to work. For his next role, Douglas will take on the flamboyant musician, Liberace.

Michael D.

“I’ve been watching a lot of tapes of him," he told People. “He wasn’t the greatest dancer nor the greatest singer, but he was a great pianist and entertainer.”

Douglas says he'll take piano lessons for the film, which will likely be released next year some time.

At the Golden Globes, meanwhile, the veteran star is up for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of Gordon Gekko in Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.

Brandi Favre Mug Shot, Arrest Details: Released

Hey, at least she didn't text unwanted photos of her vagina to a fellow employee...

Brandi Favre, the sister of a certain future Hall of Famer/shady pervert, was arrested yesterday in Mississippi when police raided a condominium that contained a meth lab. Cops have now released the mug shot of this 34-year old:

Brandi Favre Mug Shot

Explained authorities to WLOX: "We discovered the full lab in the bathroom; it was still cooking. I think we collected pretty close to ten grams of finished product... that's a lot of meth."

Brandi was one of five people arrested and charged with manufacturing meth, possession of a controlled substance, transferring a controlled substance and generation of hazardous waste.

Let's just pray her brother doesn't come out of retirement in order to help pay her legal bills.

Gucci Mane Tattoos Face with Ice Cream Cone

In 2005, Gucci Mane was charged with murder. The charges were eventually dropped, however.

But we have a feeling they may stick now, as the rapper has gone ahead and killed his cheek with an ice cream tattoo. While the flavors of the scoops are unknown, the message this artist is sending couldn't be clearer: I need serious help...

Gucci Mane Tattoo

In the least surprising news of the day, Gucci Mane who was recently released from a court-ordered stint in a mental facility. He had told the judge he was unable to "intelligently participate" in a probation revocation hearing.

Latest Lil Wayne Mug Shot: Ain't No Thang

As we know, Lil Wayne just got out of jail.

Even though he's been clean a whole month, he was required to get a new booking photo when he relocated from Arizona to Florida recently. Standard.

As you can see, the latest addition to our growing gallery of celebrity mug shots is a fairly subdued one. Weezy is just chillin' ... and possibly a little sad:

Lil Wayne Mugshot

LIL MUG SHOT: Ain't no big deal for LW.

As far as the countless paternity suits that seem to follow him, we're guessing he's equally carefree. Dude had three kids in one year before. Do the math there

AJ McLean Checks into Rehab

AJ McLean, who has struggled with cocaine and alcohol abuse, has checked into rehab for the third time.

The Backstreet Boy attempted to get clean in 2001 and 2002, but sources tell TMZ the singer has been "out of control" for months now, interfering with his group's upcoming tour.

AJ Mclean Picture

McLean sounds optimistic about his chances to kick the bad habits, at least. He Tweeted this week:

Its gonna be a great year! I love u all and wish me luck! I start my sober journey tomm! Ttfn! See u on the other side!

In related news, homeless man Ted Williams also checked into rehab yesterday. We wish both these gentlemen a full recovery.

The Bellamy Brothers to Britney Spears: You Ripped Off Our Song!

And here we thought Britney Spears was merely ripping off a cheesy old pickup line with the lyrics to her newest #1 single, "Hold It Against Me."

Well, The Bellamy Brothers, singers of "If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me," claim it's their cheesy line dammit!

Bellamys and Brit

The country duo says it has "no personal beef" with Britney, however, "in all honesty, we feel completely ripped off. Where's the originality?"

LOL. She hasn't had any of that in years, but that doesn't mean she's to blame here. Anyway, the Bellamys aren't going to sue, they're just pissed.

Did Michael Jackson Subject Blanket to Unnecessary Anesthesia?

A fatal dose of the anesthetic Propofol led to the demise of Michael Jackson, and Dr. Conrad Murray will be tried for involuntary manslaughter as a result.

Part of Murray's defense may be Jackson pressuring, even begging him for drugs. While this story is separate, it may speak to MJ's power of persuasion.

According to a TMZ report, Michael subjected one of his kids - Blanket - to the same kind of risky, unorthodox medical treatment that later killed him.

Prince Michael 'Blanket' JacksonThe Late MJ

In 2008, Michael reportedly cajoled a Las Vegas dentist into performing a procedure on Blanket in which he was put under anesthesia for two hours in a dental office.

An office that did not have the necessary permit for anesthesia.

The Nevada Board of Dental Examiners kept records of MJ's interactions with Dr. Mark Tadrissi, who initially refused to work on Blanket due to the lack of permit.

According to the Board's investigator, MJ didn't want to hear about permits and told the doctor, "Have an anesthesiologist do whatever type of sedation required."

Tadrissi capitulated and performed the two-hour procedure on Blanket, who was just six at the time. An anesthesiologist had Blanket sedated the entire time.

Here's where it gets even weirder.

The Board learned of Tadrissi's actions after Michael died and initiated disciplinary action against Tadrissi for allowing Blanket to be anesthetized in his office.

The Board also went after Dr. Tadrissi for allowing Jackson to receive - you guessed it - Propofol in his office, without the proper permit for that drug either.

Dr. Tadrissi was sanctioned in 2010.

In a draft of the report, the Board based sanctions on his treatment of Blanket and Michael. However, in the final version of the report Blanket was absent.

There is no mention of the boy or his treatment.

A source connected with the investigation says pressure was put on the Board to omit Blanket from the report. From who, it's very much unclear.

All that is clear is that Michael Jackson got what he wanted when it came to risky medical procedures, and may have put his youngest at risk.

Holly Madison Slams Crystal Harris, Questions Model's Motives for Marriage

Holly Madison claims she had mixed feelings when she first heard Hugh Hefner was engaged to Crystal Harris.

But, in an interview with Life & Style, the often-naked model has clearly unmixed them, making it clear she does not approve of her ex-boyfriend's impending marriage.

"I'd like to see Hef settle down," Holly told the tabloid. "I just want it to be with the right person, and I feel like he's making a hasty decision. I'm not sure Crystal is the best thing for him."

An Awkward Threesome

Referring to her fellow giant-breasted blonde as "mysterious," Holly adds that she's wary of Crystal's intentions:

"I've seen a lot of girls try to date Hef, and some have ulterior motives. I don't think it would be a bad idea for him to get to know her a little better. I think it's possible Crystal could break Hef's heart. They could end up divorcing, and she could take half his money."

Is she jealous that the man she once wanted to marry has asked for the hand of someone else? No. It's simply: "I just don't want it to be a girl who's using him to start her career."

Presumably, the woman who no one had heard before she resided in the Playboy Mansion and who has spun that move into her own reality show, said that with a straight face. Impressive.

Tony Parker on Eva Longoria Split: Difficult Times

Two months after filing for divorce from wife Eva Longoria amid allegations that he was sexting Erin Barry, Tony Parker is finding solace in basketball.

"The most important thing is to stay strong mentally, even if these are very difficult times," Parker told his native France's Le Parisien newspaper.

"I've take refuge in basketball, as it's what I've done best since my youth."

T. Parker

Tony Parker and Eva Longoria were married only a few years.

Parker, whose San Antonio Spurs are having a great year, is trying to "make sense of things" but his teammates stood by him and keep him strong.

The athlete says he appreciates the "support of [my] teammates, coaches and San Antonio." Equally important, he says, "has been my family."

Parker says he's been avoiding reading anything about his marriage. Wonder if that includes Eva reportedly moving on with Eduardo Cruz.

A source says he has been noticeably affected by the split: "He has changed," the source says. "He's extremely guarded when he talks about it."

Mostly, Parker says, he's trying to keep a level head on the court.

"You have to know how to keep things in perspective," he tells Le Parisien. "I am, first of all, a basketball player. I've done this for so very long."

"For me, it's been essential to be successful on the court."

Kim Kardashian on Kris Humphries Relationship: Fun!

When Kourtney & Kim Take New York premieres on January 23, viewers won't see Kim Kardashian snuggling up to new boyfriend Kris Humphries. How come?

"I met him towards the end of filming the show," Kim tells People, speaking out for the first time about the Nets power forward and adding: "I'm having a lot of fun [with him]."

Kris Humphries Picture

Kris Humphries has received high-fives this year for his play on the court and his action in the bedroom.

Before meeting Humphries, of course, Kardashian dated around. And viewers will see what that means on the upcoming spin-off.

"I'm showing a lot of my dating life, which I've never really done before," she says. "I mean you've seen bits and pieces of my relationships before, but you've never really seen me being single and doing whatever I want to do."

Trust us, Kim, we've seen you in every possible situation. Ray J made sure of that.

Kendra Wilkinson to Go Dancing With the Stars?

Dancing With the Stars may have lost out on its top target in Lindsay Lohan, but sources say another major "get" may be imminent: Kendra Wilkinson.

Kendra was approached by ABC and met with execs, E! reports. "Her personality, combined with her ability to dance, is appealing," a source says.

Off the record, her breasts don't hurt, they probably thought. Also, the quota of at least one former Playboy centerfold per year must be adhered to.

Kendra Close-Up

GO KENDRA: Will Mrs. Baskett catch DWTS fever?

Less than a year ago, on the Today show, she didn't mince her words about the reality competition, saying she would likely pass because she's a hands-on mom.

Fast forward 10 months and the money may do the talking for K-Dubs. It's not like they can count on big paydays and job security from Hank. No offense, Hank.

Besides, what better way to stir up fake divorce drama than dancing suggestively with Maksim Chmerkovskiy? In Touch Weekly just started salivating at that.

ABC's official line is that it won't comment on casting rumors, but the new season will kick off in March, so we should hear one way or the other soon.

Lawrence Taylor Cops Plea, Avoids Jail in Rape Case

Lawrence Taylor pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor sex charges today in connection with his arrest in May for soliciting an underage prostitute.

In return for his plea, the former NFL great will avoid jail time and be subject to six years probation. He must also register as a sex offender.

Taylor pleaded guilty to sexual misconduct and patronizing a prostitute.

The Original LT

He was arrested last May outside a New York motel and accused of having sex with a 16-year-old girl police said had been prostituted against her will.

Taylor told the court that the victim told him she was 19.

Police said he had sex, for which he paid $300, with the 16-year-old whom officials said pimp Rasheed Davis had forced into prostitution.

Police later arrested Davis, who pleaded not guilty to charges of sex trafficking. Taylor was originally charged with felony rape in the case.

Kelsey Grammer Vows: I Am Marrying Kayte Walsh!!!

Your move, legal system.

The attention-loving Real Housewife of Beverly Hills has taken her soon-to-be-ex-husband to court, firing off a response to Kelsey's request for a speedy divorce.

In her legal documents, Camille argues that the sitcom star has not provided sufficient grounds to complete the process, stating he only wants to make the divorce official ASAP (and work out settlement details later) "solely for the reason that he intends to remarry as soon as possible."

Kayte & KelseyCamille Grammer Picture

Kelsey's response to this accusation? That's damn right!

Appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman today, the actor came out and said the following about Kayte Walsh:

"Kayte’s my new girl, and we’re planning to get married soon. Sometime in February."

Let's hope a judge allows him to go through with it. Seriously, Camille, you're gonna get close to over $30 million in a settlement no matter what. Just shut the heck up and get out of our lives already.