Jersey Shore Season Finale Recap: Adios, Miami

After some skirmishes but a lack of fireworks, the second season of Jersey Shore went out with a thud. Not really a bang. Pauly D didn't even try to get it in!

There was a trip to the swamp, a feud between friends, a last hurrah at the club, and a great line or two, but "Back Into the Fold" was more filler than finale.

Below, THG breaks down the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's Season 2 finale in its patented +/- recap. Aww yeah, last recap YEAH!!

They really dragged this season of Jersey Shore out.

The gang heads to the Everglades. MTV is really milking the Florida thing. Minus 5.

Sitch scares JWoww with his frog legs. We mean actual dismembered frog parts, not his own legs, which are frog-like compared to that HGH-enhanced chest. Plus 4.

The restroom tryst starring the Situation during the last night at the club might have set the sanitary bar lower than ever. Not a small feat for Jersey Shore. Minus 6.

After two mediocre, Jon Gosselin-caliber girls approach Vinny about a threesome, he breaks it down as such: "Okay, they're not the prettiest girls in the world, but mix two grenades and it might make one good-looking girl." Plus 11.

Sam: "I like to be with my boyfriend at all times. Do you get that?" Scary. Minus 3.

Pauly D: "I'm not going to smash it out with Rocio before I leave. Umm, it's not that kind of chick. I don't need to." No, it is definitely not that kind of chick. Wash.

Pauly D is right. Youse are all f*%kin' nuts man.

The Situation brings the drama in the second half of the episode, bagging on people for no reason and acting like he's the $h!t. Dude, it's getting a tad old. Minus 10.

After JWoww calls him fake, Sitch says she's fake. Pauly appears to nod. Snooki takes this as an insult and tells her BFF, who confronts Pauly. So high school. Plus 2.

This whole thing gets a Minus 3 overall, because while we always can respect things getting heated, it's cliched at this point, and all stems from Mike being a prick.

At the club, Sammi asks Ron, "Why are you with me?" "I'm in love with you," he says. "Why? I can't help the way I feel." Basically, Ron-Ron's better judgment might say otherwise, but a girl who will put up with anything is hard to find. Plus 8.

Snooki weeps as the cast says its goodbyes for like a few weeks.

Frightened, Snooki storms off in tears, believing everyone hates her now, and starts pack her bags to leave ... which she was going to do anyway. Plus 5.

Mike, good guy he is, explains to Snooki that everyone loves her and no one has any hatred towards her. Unless he wants to leave the club first. Minus 3.

With Mike scooping her up over his shoulders, Snooki's coo-ca shows for the 100th time, hugs are exchanged, and fences are mended. Mostly. Hey, we have to have the tension lingering when things move back to Jersey this winter. Plus 10.

Until Season Three begins ...

TOTAL: +10. SEASON TOTAL: +143.

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Trouble for Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett?

Like millions of men around the country, Hank Baskett can't hold down a job.

But it's not due to the economy or any corporate downsizing. The guy just isn't very good at football.

As a result of Baskett changing NFL teams often, there is reportedly stress in the marriage between him and Kendra Wilkinson. That's what happens when reality show cameras must worry about which city they'll be filming in from month to month.

It happens to all relationships, right?

According to Hollywood Life sources, the couple is going through a lot these days. Most notably: stuff and things.

“Kendra’s moved four times in four months [and] her kid is going through stuff," says an insider, adding she and Hank “are embarrassed they are going through things.”

Season three of the pair's E! reality show is scheduled to premiere next month, meaning Baskett's floundering football career has at least one bright side: it will make for interesting, televised relationship drama.

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Jesse James & Kat Von D Break Up; L.A. Ink Star Reconciles With Nikki Sixx, Feuds With TLC

As we hinted earlier this week, Jesse James and Kat Von D were having problems. Now it looks like those problems have led to a full-blown breakup.

Blame Nikki Sixx and plain old geography. Long distance NEVER works.

Here's the latest: Kat Von D, the heavily-tattooed L.A. Ink star, dumped JJ and went back to Motley Crue rocker Sixx, her ex. She and Jesse were fizzling, so that's not shocking. What is surprising is the feud between Kat and ... TLC.

For Kat Von D, it's out with the old, in with ... the older.

While filming the current season of L.A. Ink, Kat was dating Jesse James and during that courtship, producers shot footage of her trash talking ex Nikki.

They even went as far as editing an episode, which featured a "Nikki vs. Jesse" theme, posing a potentially awkward sitch for Kat. Her solution? SUE!

According to reports, Kat's "freaked out" and demanding producers cut the footage, lest she take legal action and halt Ink's production immediately.

How bad was her trash talking? We'll never know, since Kat got her way and the material was nixed! Too bad, that would have been really awkward.

In any case, Jesse's out, Nikki's in. You may now return to your lives.

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Willow Smith Explains Whip My Hair, Introduces World to Her Warriorettes

Willow Smith has an entire nation whipping their hair. But why?

What is the motivation behind the nine-year's hit new single?

"Whip My Hair means don't be afraid to be yourself, and don't let anybody tell you that that's wrong. Because the best thing is you," Smith told MTV this week.

In the official video for the single, viewers watch as a bunch of kids whip their hair around and splatter paint on the walls of a school.

Willow has dubbed these pre-teens the "Warriorettes."

The term refers to how one should stand by one's beliefs, but do it with a soft side.

"It takes a warrior to stand up for themselves and not let anybody tell them that what they're wearing or what they're saying or what they're doing is wrong... but it still takes sensitivity," she said.

So, what do you think, THG readers? Do you have what it takes to be a Warriorette?

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Taylor Momsen: Topless in Concert!

It's as if 17-year-old Taylor Momsen was trying to send a message to the many critics of her recent gun-toting cover of Revolver and hyper-sexual image:

That message would be something akin to "I'm just getting started!"

Rocking out with her band The Pretty Reckless in NYC last night, T-Moms upped the ante, opening her shirt and exposing her breasts ("covered" by pasties).

This was no invasion of the Gossip Girl star's privacy by paparazzi. Taylor Momsen made sure concert-goers saw Taylor Momsen topless on stage. Insane.

Follow the jump for a photo and video of the "OMG" moment, which occurs shortly after the one-minute mark in the clip, courtesy of Hollywood Life ...

Yeah. You may or may not have just committed a criminal act by viewing this photo of a minor. Either way, cut your age in half, then add seven. If that number is 17 or under, ogle away. If not, you are offically a dirty, dirty individual.

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Confirmed for Breaking Dawn: Rough Sex!

There's really no other way to put this: Edward and Bella will have some wild and crazy sex in Breaking Dawn.

Those familiar with the novel series know of what we speak: the couple goes at it on its honeymoon like... well, two people in love that have never been intimate with each other before.

Will the big screen version of this scene reflect the same passion? Oh yes, a source tells E! News, saying: "It's dead on with the book."

Confirming the movie's script, penned by Melissa Rosonberg, is "really good," this insider added that it "has a pretty sexual tone with a lot of the characters this time around," but all involved must be weary of the film's PG-13 rating

"We have to keep that in mind. It's essential," he said.

So is the relationship between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in real life. Hey, they gotta practice!

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Lindsay Lohan Dodges Bullet, Sent Back to Rehab

Lindsay Lohan dodged a major bullet this morning when Judge Elden Fox ordered her back to rehab until at least January 3, but spared her more jail time.

The troubled star is due back in court February 25, and will be subject to random drug testing in between her release from rehab until that court date.

If Lindsay does not test positive for drugs or alcohol, her sentence will be converted to unsupervised probation. So if she stays clean, problem solved.

THAT WAS CLOSE: Lindsay Lohan is headed back to Betty Ford, not jail.

The D.A., fed up with Lindsay's baloney, recommended she get 180 days in county jail. The judge could have sentenced her to a year if he deemed it necessary.

However, Fox was sympathetic to Lohan, but at the same time stern. "You are an addict. I hope you understand that," he said. Lindsay nodded in agreement.

"I don't want another train wreck," Fox warned. Asked if she was unclear on the matter, Linds tearfully responded, "No, your honor. I understand. Thank you."

So now the question becomes: Can Lindsay Lohan stay clean?

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Brooke Mueller Says Relationship with Charlie Sheen is "Great"

What's a bit of knife-wielding and a few death threats between soulmates?

Despite police records confirming that Charlie Sheen held a blade to his wife's throat in December, Brooke Mueller told OK! this week that everything between her and the actor is fine. It's actually better than fine.

“We are great. We’re great,” Mueller replied when asked about the relationship. “The babies are fantastic. They are 100 percent healthy. And they are wonderful.”

How does Mueller keep herself relaxed and positive when faced with struggles such as watching her husband crack awful jokes on Two and a Half Men?

“Mediation, yoga, hiking and good friends," she said. "And a good mother!"

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Jersey Shore Season 3 to Kick Off January 6

The Jersey Shore season finale just finished airing, but dry your eyes. Snooki, JWoww, The Situation and the gang will be running it back sooner, rather than later.

Season Three begins January 6 on MTV!

"All the relationships start taking a turn, some for the good, some bad," co-creator and executive producer SallyAnn Salsano teases of the new season.

The esteemed cast of Jersey Shore's third season.

"There are some new hook-ups both in the house and outside. They're still the same cast, but I think how they deal with situations is completely different."

The same cast plus one. Deena Nicole Cortese joins the show to replace Angelina Pivarnick, who stirred up drama, then quit both of the first two seasons.

"It was hard for her to come in since there was a pre-existing relationship between everyone," Salsano said. "There was literally no shortage of drama."

Are you excited for a new season of Jersey Shore?

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Judge Nixes O.J. Simpson Appeal; World Devastated

Christie Prody, Fred Goldman and anyone with a conscience can rest easy after O.J. Simpson lost his appeal of a kidnapping and robbery conviction today.

Juice recruited some lowlife thugs, instructed them to "get some heat", a la Stringer Bell, and jacked a memorabilia dealer to reclaim "his" stuff in 2008.

The Nevada Supreme Court upheld the ruling in the case, stating that none of O.J.'s complaints had merit, and that he should continue doing time.

O.J. appealed on grounds of racial bias, saying prosecutors axed African-American jurors unfairly, and didn't allow his attorneys to ask certain questions.

Specifically, about the two people he killed in 1994.

The former Heisman winner and NFL Hall of Fame member was sentenced to 33 years in prison, with a possibility for parole on good behavior after nine.

Interestingly, one of Simpson's cohorts, Clarence Stewart, is also appealing, arguing that Simpson's involvement unfairly prejudiced a jury against him.

No idea how that would possibly happen ...

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Source on Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: Just Friends

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West had a seemingly romantic dinner in Chicago on Tuesday night.

Then, the rapper joined the reality star for a birthday celebration on a private yacht yesterday.

Despite these recent rendezvous, however, a source swears to People "there is nothing going on romantically. Kanye and Kim are just friends and have been forever."

Have these two had sex at some point in the last few days? Probably.

Still, the insider reiterates: "She thinks Kanye is a really cool guy, but they're friends and only friends."

As for Kardashian and John Mayer, who were also spotted out this week? Like Kim's legs in the presence of professional athletes, that dating rumor/question remains open.

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