February 24, 2010

Evander Holyfield Hates, Bails on Dr. Phil


Less than a week after saying Dr. Phil was "the only one" who could save his troubled marriage, Evander Holyfield now refuses to go on the blowhard's talk show.

Over the weekend, the former boxing champ and wife Candi Holyfield were flown first class to L.A. by the show’s producers and put up at a hotel in Hollywood.

But a private meeting between the couple and Dr. Phil at the host's Beverly Hills estate to discuss the format of their interview quickly turned into a disaster.

“The truth is Evander did not like Dr. Phil and what he was proposing," a source said. “There was a clash of personalities. He felt he was totally man-bashing him."

Whatever that means, it can't be good!

EvanderDoctor Phil Photo

Unfortunately, no physical blows were exchanged.

The Holyfields were also put off by Dr. Phil's wife Robin who "was floating around the house entertaining other guests inside their massive mansion."

The Holyfields' issues began earlier this month when Candi asked for a protective order, claiming Evander hit her during an argument in their home.

Candi wanted him to turn up the thermostat and he allegedly beat her for not putting God first. There's something in the Bible about thermostats.

She later asked for the restraining order to be lifted. In order to rebuild their image, they reached out to Dr. Phil last week ... but that went south.

“He’s not the type of guy who likes to feel bullied," says a source. "That was what Dr. Phil was trying to do and it wouldn’t help his marriage one iota."

Golf Channel Anchor Cries Over Tiger Woods Apology

Many people, including two Tiger Woods mistresses, were unimpressed by the golfer's mea culpa, his first comments since his seedy, cheating ways were exposed.

Some viewers, however, were captivated by the athlete's words. So profoundly, in fact, that Woods' Friday morning apology speech actually drove them to tears.

Really.

In a Golf Channel studio immediately following the press conference, one analyst got so choked up by Woods coming clean that he just couldn't keep it together.

It's amazing, the stark contrast in reaction to Woods' comments. If you have a vested interest in his return to golf, you loved it. If not, you're likely a bit cynical.

This dude definitely fits into the former category ...


Crying Over Tiger

Michelle Obama Invites Glee Cast to The White House


We may have finally found an issue on which Democrats and Republicans can agree:

Michelle Obama has invited the Glee cast to the White House because she's a big fan of this Fox musical comedy. Entertainment Weekly says the show is ready to accept an invitation to sing at the annual Easter Egg hunt on the residence's front lawn.

It will take place on April 5.

Glee Cast Pic

As far as we know, Glee has never featured a Down's Syndrome character whose mother is the former Governor of Alaska.

So Sarah Palin will need to find something else about the show to pretend to be offended by in order to remain in the news. The series actually does depict a knocked-up teenager.

Perhaps Palin can get riled up over the fact that the character's mother isn't forcing her daughter to fake an engagement to her deadbeat boyfriend because it would make for good politics. We mean, seriously. What kind of an example of Gleeis trying to set?!?

Tim Gunn Slams Kardashian Klothing Line

So far, THG readers seem generally impressed by the Kardashian clothing line. Check out a sample from it NOW.

But don't count Project Runway star Tim Gunn among those impressed by Kim, Kourtney and Khloe's stylings. Far from it.

"I just think the Kardashians have an absence of taste and I don’t think that that should be perpetuated. I’m sorry I’m sounding like an old farty snob, but it bothers me," he said during New York Fashion Week.

Tim Gunn PhotoKim in the Big Apple

If it makes the reality stars feel any better, Gunn doesn't have anything positive to say about the clothes worn by Jersey Shore cast members, either.

"Don’t even get me started. It is not a style to emulate. I know that the show is hugely popular. I will tell you it pains me when I hear 12-year-old girls say it’s their favorite show. You shouldn’t be watching it!"

It sounds like Snooki may be listening to Gunn. After all, she's reportedly ready to ditch any and all clothing and simply appear in the buff. No way Gunn could object to that, right?

As Brooke Mueller's World Turns...

If Brooke Mueller is being punished for past transgressions, you'd think a marriage to Charlie Sheen would be enough.

But since walking down the aisle with this shady actor, in the last three months alone, Mueller has...

... allegedly been beaten.

... undergone wisdom tooth surgery.

... contracted pneumonia as a result of said surgery.

... entered a treament center for infectious disease.

... entered a rehab facility from which she recently left because an employee there leaked personal documents to the media.

The latest development has resulted in Mueller checking in to a new facility, as her lawyer, Yale Galanter, tells TMZ Brooke plans on filing a lawsuit against The Canyon in Malibu for invasion of privacy.

Poor Brooke

Reportedly, someone from this rehab center leaked Mueller's admission form to the press. It contained personal information about Brooke and Galanter says he'll bring a suit against The Canyon and plans "to have the individual responsible for leaking the information arrested."

As for his client's whereabouts, Galanter confirmed she's continuing her rehabilitation "in a private, more secure, confidential environment" in Los Angeles.

"Brooke no longer feels she can go into a public facility because of the breach of confidentiality The Canyon committed," Galanter said, adding another chapter to this sad mess of a soap opera.

The Bachelor Recap: Women Tell All, Trash Rozlyn

The traditional pre-season finale "Women Tell All" reunion special of The Bachelor is always mostly filler - and a total misnomer, as they really tell surprisingly little.

Still, there were fireworks as Rozlyn Papa returned to confront Chris Harrison and the stage was set for next week's epic Tenley Molzahn-Vienna Girardi showdown.

As always, THG endured two freaking hours of the colon-tastic The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: The Women Tell All to recap all the action in our +/- system:

Jake said self-defecating when he meant self-deprecating. Plus 3.

Wes Hayden of last season's Bachelorette is back for some reason. He says he's getting "a thousand more nibbles" on his dating pole these days. Gross. Minus 4.

Crazy ass Michelle tried to explain her crazy ass behavior, but just came across as even more unstable. Her best defense: "Ask my friends. I have a job!" Plus 9.

Back For More

Chris Harrison didn't let up on Rozlyn Papa, but she held her own.

Rozlyn Papa was confronted by fellow Bachelor hopefuls about her relationship with producer Ryan Callahan, which got them both fired from the show. According to Ella, Rozlyn got on all fours, in wearing booty shorts and said to the women, "If you see [Ryan], send him in ... I need to be put to bed!" Plus 40.

The venerable host and pimp of The Bachelor, Chris Harrison, then took his turn with Rozlyn, accusing her of making stories up like his young son does. Minus 16.

She wouldn't back down though. When he said he was saddened by having to let "his friend" go, Rozlyn countered that Chris is no friend, having hit on Ryan's wife in New Zealand. Chris refused to "dignity that with a response." Awkward! Plus 25.

Jake Pavelka Shirtless

Shirtless Jake Pavelka has a tough decision to make next week.

The girls all praise Ms. Perfect, Tenley Molzahn. Jessie: "She almost fell out of a Disney movie." Gia: "She sh*ts rainbows." Minus 34 for them feeding us this crap just so we're devastated when Tenley loses next week. Brace for the pain.

Despite hating on her all season, the girls go easy on Vienna. Even Ali Fedotowsky apologized. Weak. Minus 46. We want catty comments and chairs thrown.

The next Bachelorette is going to be Ali Fedotowsky. In her interview, she said: "I believe life is measured by the risks we take ... If I could go back and do it differently, I probably would. I'm an advocate of women having careers, but I don't want to look back and say I didn't love enough." Excellent writing, story editors!Plus 30.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Celebrates Birthday, Pleads for Attention

Remember when Jennifer Love Hewitt was a moderately well-known actress onParty of Five who posed naked, never whispered to ghosts and seemed content to play the role of supporting character on a hit TV show?

We miss those days.

The beauty has since devolved into one of the most attention-starved actresses on the planet. She never fails to make out with Jamie Kennedy in public, she openly discusses her bedazzled vagina and, as proven yesterday, she uses her birthday as an excuse to make like a sad version of Lady Gaga for the paparazzi.

Hewitt turned 31 on Sunday and celebrated by throwing a 1980s-themed party with friends. That's cool.

But why did she feel the need to step outside and pose for photographers? And what were those media members doing there anyway? We somehow doubt they stake out JLH's home. Someone's publicist earned his money this week...

Very Annoying ActressCelebrate Me!

If Hewitt wants attention this badly, we have a much better idea for her: Pose forPlayboy. There are only two reasons she's still employed anyway.

Robert Pattinson Admits: I Am Dating Kristen Stewart

We are together, yes.

With those words, spoken at this Sunday night's BAFTA Awards in London, Robert Pattinson took attention away from his matted hair and placed it squarely back on his relationship with Kristen Stewart.

After months of rumors, speculation, innuendo and ridiculous tabloid cover stories, Pattinson spoke publicly for the first time about he and his Twilight Saga co-star.

He told Great Britain's The Sun that he and Kristen have a difficult time dating in the spotlight - but, yes, they are dating.

"It is extremely difficult but we are together, yes," Robert said. "We can't arrive at the same time because of the fans. It goes crazy. This was supposed to be a public appearance as a couple, but it's impossible. We are here together and it's a public event, but it's not easy.

"We have to do all this stuff to avoid attention."

There you have it, folks. There's been little doubt for a very long time now, but Robsten has been made official. As always, we wish Robert and Kristen noting but happiness!

RobertKristen Photograph

ROBSTEN LIVES!!!

Dr. Conrad Murray Thinks D.A. is Being Shady

Michael Jackson's embattled former doctor, who is being charged in connection with the King of Pop's June death, feels officials are being shady with evidence.

Dr. Conrad Murray's legal team believes the L.A. County D.A.'s Office is "suspiciously slow" in sharing documents from the involuntary manslaughterinvestigation.

As one Murray source puts it, "The prosecution had eight months to accumulate their evidence and we still haven't received it. Something here just isn't right."

That is strange, we'll grant the doc that.

Charged

Dr. Murray was charged earlier this month and his defense team has not ruled out a plea bargain in the case. But it's a matter of what the case actually consists of.

But as one source connected to Murray said, because the defense team hasn't received essential documents, "We don't have enough to know if we're going to deal."

A spokesperson for the District Attorney's Office calls any suggestion of impropriety "ridiculous," saying, "There are hundreds of documents that are being stamped and when the process is completed, they will be turned over."

A central issue: The Michael Jackson death timeline and contradictory findings and statements thereof. It will be very interesting to watch this shake out.

Mezhgan Hussainy Responsible for "Complete Turnaround" in Simon Cowell, Mother Says

Based on comments last week, it appears as though Simon Cowell has a soft spot in his heart for this season's female contestants. He's hinted that he hopes Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox or another woman is crowned the next American Idol.

But there's another female that's truly won over Simon's heart: Mezhgan Hussainy.

Cowell has referred to the make-up artist as "special," while his mother has now gone on record about her son's burgeoning relationship.

In a new interview, Julie Cowell relays a conversation she had with Simon soon after he asked Hussainy to move in with him.

"What baffled me most was the complete turnaround in my son. He has always insisted, ‘I’m fine as I am, mother. I’m not going to get committed to a marriage and I certainly don’t want children.’ I used to reply, ‘You don’t know, you’ve never had them.'"

Mezhgan Hussainy and Simon Cowell

Julie adds that "Mezhgan is absolutely lovely" and that she can't believe the state of bliss in which her son finds himself.

"He looks exceptionally happy and there is such a glow about him," Julie said. "I thought, my goodness me, he’s had to reach 50 to reach this stage. I think turning 50 has made him reassess his life.

"Now I really think marriage and fatherhood for Simon are going to happen. I would like to see an official engagement, a marriage and yes, then grandchildren. Mezghan is very family orientated, so she is ideal for him."

Bristol Palin to Guest Star on The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Levi Johnston is trying to make headway in the fields of TV and posing nude. It's nice to see that his baby mama, Bristol Palin, has decided to follow suit.

Well, at least the TV part.

The daughter of Sarah Palin is coming to ABC Family as the real-life teen mom willmake a cameo as herself on The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Levi is in talks to appear on Desperate Housewives.

Bristol Palin will appear as one of Amy’s friends at a music program for young parents. Sarah will certainly be so proud at her girl getting more publicity.

Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston, Trig Palin

Bristol Palin during her brief, fake engagement to Levi Johnston.

The casting announcement comes juts a week after Sarah and Bristol both made headlines by lashing out at Family Guy and its creator Seth MacFarlane.

Its depiction of a student with Down Syndrome riled up the Palins, even if the voice actress, who has Down Syndrome herself, says they should lighten up.

Is Sarah Palin being hypocritical by placing her daughter on a TV show, given that like MacFarlane, The Secret Life is just using the Palin name for ratings?

Just asking.

Lindsay Lohan on Girl-on-Girl Action: Sam or Bust!

Lindsay Lohan has serious romantic feelings for Samantha Ronson. But if it's not for her, she would want nothing to do with the vagina, she tells the Sun (UK).

The wild child says her celebrity DJ on-off girlfriend is the only female for her – and if she doesn't reunite with her, she will make a triumphant return to men.

Use protection, guys.

"I never really thought about women before, it kind of just happened with Samantha. It surprised me," Lohan said of her first foray into girl-on-girl action.

"If I wasn't with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She's the only woman I'm attracted to. We love each other. We might reconcile ... maybe."

Lohan says she still "loves" Samantha Ronson – from whom she split last April – and, since they live in the same L.A. building, they see each other regularly.

That's not awkward or anything.

Freaking Crazy Chick

Among women, Lindsay Lohan has eyes only for Samantha Ronson. Reportedly, there are even times in which she has eyes that open all the way and aren't glazed over.

The pair had a tumultuous, torrid tryst that regularly landed them in the tabloids. Lohan blames the storminess as having root in the meddling of others.

Her coked-up tendencies couldn't have helped.

"Her family is very involved in her relationships and that was difficult … All the fighting stuff was just because all her friends had got involved and made me an outcast, which wasn't fair to Samantha. I think it was a jealousy thing," Lohan said.

"Mostly it was great. Everyone has ups and downs, it's normal," she adds. "But in front of the public eye they're going to take the downs and make it seem like they're a million times worse. That's something that comes with the territory."

As for the last guy believed to have tapped that, Calum Best? That fling was "over really quickly and not worth talking about. Next!" Burn, Calum Best! Burn.

Is Pixie Lott Dating Joe Jonas?

Joe Jonas cannot catch a football.

But it sounds like he may have caught something far more important in life: true love.

According to Great Britain's trashy newspaper The Sun, the sex-starved singer has been getting cozy with English star Pixie Lott.

Jonas and Lott were reportedly introduced through Gregg Sulkin, a British actor that appears on Wizard Of Waverly Place.

"Joe has been relentless in his pursuit of Pixie. They have known each other a while. But she was visiting LA last week and he made sure he saw her every day," asource told the tabloid. "There were five nights on the trot where they ended up hanging out and going out together."

We have no idea what "on the trot" refers to, but we can assume it's not slang for "in the bedroom."

Pixie LottPic of J Squared

The anonymous insider added, about Joe:

"He has become obsessed by her. Pixie is feeling a little more guarded but there is a romance gently bubbling away. Since she got back to the UK they have been texting and calling."

OMG, Jonas Brothers fans. It's about time Joe settled down, isn't it? Kevin is married to Danielle Deleasa; while Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas appear back together. Joe doesn't wanna be left behind!

Tiger Woods Apologizes ... to Daughter's School

Tiger Woods finally emerged from seclusion and apologized to family, friends, fans and business associates Friday in an emotional, 13-minute, prepared statement.

Saying he is deeply sorry for his actions and letting down pretty much the whole world, the golf legend began the long process of rebuilding his shattered image.

When and if he accomplishes that goal remains to be seen, but he is pulling out all the stops right now. Today, his young daughter's school got a special apology.

Tiger and Elin Nordegren Woods have issued a letter of apology to the parents at the Florida school where their 2-year-old Sam Alexis Woods attends day care.

Tiger Clubbing

Can Tiger claw his way back to respectability?

In the letter, Tiger says he's sorry but again blames the paparazzi as much as himself for creating an "inconvenience" around Premier Academy in Windermere.

It's not likely to move anyone to tears (like this guy) as his mea culpa did last week, but at least Woods realizes the wide-ranging consequences of his actions.

Follow the jump for the full text of the letter ...

Dear Premier Academy parents,

We would like to share our appreciation for your support over the past several months and offer our personal apology for any inconvenience you are experiencing due to the increased media scrutiny surrounding our children. We truly understand how frustrating it can be.

We hope that the paparazzi will find something better to do with their time in the near future. In the meantime, it is our goal to keep life as normal as possible for our children. We are sure that as parents you can appreciate that. For Sam, that normalcy means attending the school that she enjoys so much.

Again, we truly appreciate the support from the entire Premier Academy family.

Kind regards,
Elin and Tiger Woods

Lettin

If nothing else, Woods is doing what he can to repair the damage in his personal life first. What do you think of Tiger's apology (the public one)?

Jayson Williams Sentenced to Minimum of 18 Months in Prison

Jayson Williams is going to prison.

The former NBA star was sentenced to five years in jail today for the 2002 crime of fatally shooting a hired limousine driver. He will be eligible for parole in 18 months.

Last month, Williams pleaded guilty to aggravated assault in the death of Costas Christofi on February 14, 2002. He was convicted on four counts of covering up the shooting in a 2004 trial.

A clearly disturbed, dangerous person, Williams drove drunk - and into oncoming traffic - earlier this year. He averaged 13.6 rebounds per game as a member of the New Jersey Nets in 1997-98.

Jayson Williams

In court today, State Superior Court Judge Edward Coleman went along with a plea agreement that spelled out the five-year prison sentence and the potential for Williams to be released as early as summer 2011.

Choking away tears, Williams spoke out in court and apologized to Andrea Adams, Christofi's sister. He said:

"There's not a day I wake up that I don't feel sorry for what I did to Mr. Christofi and that I put you through this."

He'll have a long time in prison to consider those actions and, hopefully, turn his life around.

Katie Stevens vs. Katelyn Epperly: Semifinalist Showdown!

How far can young and cute carry Katie Stevens and Katelyn Epperly this season on American Idol?

It's a question worth asking because these two semifinalists don't have the strongest voices on the show.

But Stevents, at least, has the most moving personal story of any contestant: she's extremely close to her grandmother, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. The Boston native says she'd love nothing more than to achieve her dreams while her grandmother is still relatively cognizant.

Epperly, meanwhile, is a 19-year old from Iowa. She plays the piano and has served as the vocalist for Katelyn & the Bruises, a folk rock band.

Compare the hopefuls below and then vote in our poll...

KatieKatelyn Epperly Promo Pic

Which semifinalist will go farther on American Idol?

Police Hopeful Andrew Koenig is Still Alive

Police in Vancouver, B.C., are hopeful that actor Andrew Koenig is alive and simply laying low. The Growing Pains star has been missing more than a week.

Investigators haven't found the actor, who has not been heard from since the week before last, but say they remain "hopeful" he's out there and is alive.

The publicity surrounding the disappearance of Koenig has triggered many tips to the Vancouver Police Department, according to Constable Tim Fanning.

"Right now we feel like we've really exhausted our resources on this case," Fanningtold E! News today. "So [the many new leads are] good news."

"Our detectives are following up on a number of new tips."

Andrew Koenig Picture

Hopefully, Growing Pains star Andrew Koenig will turn up.

So far, though, police have been unable to confirm any new sightings of Koenig since February 14. Fanning declined to comment on a "despondent" letter from Koenig that his father, former Star Trek star Walter Koenig, referenced on his website.

Police have also notified officers and employees in and around Stanley Park, where Andrew was last seen and liked to visit, to stay on watch for any information.

The 41-year-old Koenig emptied out his apartment in Venice, Calif., recently, a friend says, because he wanted to start over in Vancouver, his "place for solace."

Fellow Growing Pains star Kirk Cameron recently released a statement pleading for his friend to contact him: "I am praying for his family during this time of distress and for his safe return," he said. "Andrew, if you're reading this, please call me."

Khloe Kardashian: Anti Birth Control, Possibly Pro Sex Tapes

Forget the Kim Kardashian engagement watch. We need to get the Khloe Kardashian pregnancy ticker going.

The recently-married reality star tells Steppin' Out magazine (the same publication that published this gruesome photo of Hailey Glassman) that she and Lamar Odom aren't trying to get pregnant, but...

"I'm not on the pill... I'm not sitting here staring at an ovulation calendar. I'm not saying to Lamar, 'Okay, it's time, let's go!' But people stir my words around. Let's just say sometimes I talk too much."

Khloe Kiss

You don't need to go far for an example:

On a recent episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Khloe said she might makea solo sex tape for Odom. She has now sort of clarified those remarks, while still teasing the possibility.

"It's called a love tape," Khloe said. "I don't do sex tapes! Although, with my husband, I can't say what I will or will not do in the future. I won't know until I'm in that moment."

In other words: she might do a sex tape.

As for sister Kourtney's roller coaster relationship with Scott Disick, Khloe says:

"Their relationship is definitely very different than mine. Mine is much smoother. I don't know if it's because we're still so new... But whatever their relationship is, it definitely works for them. They like that. I could never have a relationship like that."

Neither could Kourtney and Scott, of course. Each of their fights is scriped by E! and a team of writers.

Lady Gaga: Topless, Bulging in Q Magazine


The fabulous Lady Gaga appears topless on the cover and inside the pages of Q magazine this month. She also appears to be packing some serious bulge.

We're just saying.

Whatever that foot-long surprise might be, it's either meant as a joke based on thehermaphrodite rumors that continue to follow her, or as an effort to fuel them.

Man parts or not, she's looking pretty amazing. It's nice to see the singer without her trademark face mask or hair phone ... or any sort of shirt, let's be honest!

Topless Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga actually clarified what this cover is all about.

“We all know one of the biggest talking points of the year was that I have a d**k, so why not give them what they want? I want to wear a d**k strapped to my vagina," she told Q. "I also carry myself onstage in a masculine way and sing in a low register."

"This is not out of nowhere, right? I want to comment on that in a beautiful, artistic way. How I wanna show it. And I want to call this piece Lady Gaga Dies Hard.”

We have no reply other than that this chick is certifiably awesome.

In addition to discussing the public's fascination with whether or not Lady Gaga has man parts, she delves into how it relates to gender stereotypes involving sex.

“If a guy says, ‘Oh I f****d all these chicks this week,’ there’s a high-five and giggling. But when a woman does that and it's publicized or she is open about her sexuality or she’s free or liberated, it’s, ‘Oh, well, she must have a d**k’."

Once again ... awesome.

Gaga Topless PhotoLady Gaga Topless Photo

Lady Gaga bares her soul (and top) in Q Magazine.

Liberated as she is, the Lady was said to be a bit of a diva during this photo shoot, threatening to walk out unless her boyfriend was allowed to photograph her.

That would be Matthew Williams. She reportedly said, “I’m just not in a good place right now.” It's hard being a music star possibly representing both genders.

Charlie Sheen: Also Off to Rehab

The Sheen family takes a very different approach to rehab than Amy Winehouse.

With wife Brooke Mueller checked into a treatment center for substance abuse, Charlie Sheen's rep has confirmed that his client has also entered a facility as "a preventative measure."

"He will take some time off his series Two and a Half Men," the rep added, not elaborating on why Sheen is in rehab.

The actor is facing domestic violence charges as a result of his Christmas Day confrontation with Mueller. He's expected in an Aspen court on March 15.

Stogie Smoker

Sheen has reportedly attended rehab programs at least twice before to battle drug and alcohol problems. A source tells People this stint relates to the fallout from the domestic violence case, however.

"Charlie is stressed. He's tired. The kids are on his mind. Brooke's on his mind," the insider said. "A lot of things are on his mind. He didn't want to get a place where he had the urge to get high. He's not using and he doesn't want to. He felt like he needed to get away from negative influences around him and clear his head, rest and take a short break."

Sheen will remain in the facility for two weeks.

Tony Kornheiser Suspended by ESPN for Criticizing Hannah Storm

This is just silly.

Tony Kornheiser, a former Washington Post columnist and ESPN radio show host, has been suspended by the network for criticizing the wardrobe of SportsCenter anchor Hannah Storm.

Last week, Kornheiser opened his show by critiquing the clothing Storm donned while she hosted a morning edition of SportsCenter. His exact words:

Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She's got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt. Way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now. And she's got on her typically very, very tight shirt. So she looks like she's got sausage casing wrapping around her upper body... I know she's very good, and I'm not supposed to be critical of ESPN people..But, Hannah Storm, come on now!

Tony Kornheiser

Kornheiser later called Storm to apologize and also publicly apologized for the comments. He told his listeners today:

"I apologize, unequivocally. I'm a sarcastic, subversive guy... I'm a troll, look at me. I have no right to insult what anybody looks like or what anybody wears. That, I think, should go without saying."

ESPN has suspended the host for two weeks. We get it, you can't exactly call out a co-worker in the fashion with which he referenced Storm. (THG note: Free Britney once called my cut-off T-shirt "cheap" and was forced to fetch my coffee for a month.)

But Kornheiser makes ESPN gobs of money by co-hosting Pardon the Interruption. His biting, sardonic attitude is a major appeal for fans that watch the show.

Moreover, by suspending Kornheiser, the network has actually made national news of a story that few would have noticed if no punishment had been handed down. Ironic.

Rachel Uchitel Barred From Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant

She'd be down, but due to her settlement with Tiger Woods, Rachel Uchitel cannot participate in the mistress beauty pageant that Howard Stern wants to throw.

Sad, we know. But this is Howard Stern we're talking about. He is a resourceful, driven individual, and he's not about to let this genius idea fall by the wayside.

One of Rachel's friends approached Howard's people today, asking that a cardboard version of Rachel in various states of dress could compete in the pageant.

Yes, really. Stern's show is trying to put it together and offer a $100,000 prize. Best of all? He's already got four Tiger Woods mistresses lined up to take part.

Living, breathing ones!

Serious DriveUchitel, R.

Rachel Uchitel was Tiger Woods' favorite mistress, and the first to be exposed. She'd likely win a beauty contest of all of his mistresses, if she were allowed to take part.

He's not saying who, but you know Jaimee Grubbs is game, and rest assured, a cardboard cutout of Rachel Uchitel could still easily win this title.

Joslyn James, Tiger? Really? Theresa Rogers? Honestly, dude?

In case you were unaware, the reason Uchitel can't participate is because of theseven-figure deal she signed with his camp to keep quiet about their affair.

This apparently wouldn't constitute discretion ... wonder why.

Bristol Palin: The Height of Hypocrisy

Earlier, we reported about teen mom Bristol Palin's upcoming cameo on ABC Famliy's The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Give it up for family values!

Isn't this hypocritical and counterproductive? Isn't having Bristol Palin on the show basically glorifying teen pregnancy? The network said in a press release:

"Bristol Palin is the most famous teenage mother in America. We're thrilled to have her join us, and I think she will bring additional attention to the issues facing teen parents that we've been exploring for a couple of seasons now."

"I am thrilled to be on this show and to be a part of a program that educates teens and young adults about the consequences of teen pregnancy,” said Palin.

What a crock.

They Chose LifeBristol Palin and Her Baby

Bristol Palin has chosen life. And apparently fame.

By putting a teen mom in any popular entertainment medium, ABC Family is (indirectly if not overtly) celebrating the fact that she's a teen who got pregnant.

After all, Bristol Palin is known for exactly two things:

  1. Being the daughter of Sarah Palin
  2. Getting knocked up by Levi Johnston

Now her famous mom wants to utilize that fact to make Bristol a celebrity while espousing family values at the same time. It's as disgusting as it is laughable.

Not to mention the ridiculousness of Sarah's claims last week about her family being off limits. Guess that only applies if Family Guy takes shots at them, eh?

This isn't Bristol's first dubious attempt to have it both ways. Last year, she was named Candie's "Teen Pregnancy Ambassador." What does that even mean? Especially from a clothing line whose ads feature Britney Spears in booty shorts?

At the RNC

2008: The seeds of celebrity (and Tripp Johnston) are sown.

Apparently it matters not, because it's all about making money off THE MOST FAMOUS TEEN MOM EVER! Really, ABC Family? This is your marketing hook?

Altruism, this is not. If education and prevention are really your goals, start doing public service announcements or donating time and money to charity.

If the Palins wants to shamelessly promote the Palins and teen pregnancy, great. But let's call it what it is - self-serving PR under the guise of "education."