Lindsay Lohan's Dad Had a Heart Attack

It was reported by TMZ that Michael Lohan had a heart attack - or at least chest pains that radiated out to his arms the resulted in him being admitted to the hospital. Michael's girlfriend, Kate Major, claimed that the EKG showed evidence of a heart attack. But since she doesn't have a medical degree to prove that she has any idea of what she is talking about, take that with a grain of salt.

Kate, quite the chatter, also said that Michael is at St. Francis Hospital in Manhasset. She alluded to Michael undergoing a procedure, but wouldn't be specific. If you're going to take the time to get attention from the paparazzi, whore, you might as well take the pains to have some details in your verbal spew.

It's entirely possible that Michael is having heart issues, since back on March 6, Michael suffered chest pains and was advised by his physician that he should have a heart catheterization. Maybe Daddy is just stunned how much Lindsay Lohan's net worth is dropping since the public is kind of figuring out that we hate her.

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Jackson Estate Signed $250 Million Deal

Of course after the King of Pop dies, he still makes money. First it was $60 million with the "This Is It" movie, which was basically a bunch of rehearsal footage. Now, it seems like there is even more money to be made from the dead Michael Jackson. And I'm not even talking about robbing his grave. Which was my idea first, so don't even think about it.

Both Sony and the administrators for Michael Jackson's estate agreed on a deal that totaled to $250 million. This deal will include releasing new music that Michael Jackson was working on before his untimely death. Which seems morbid and greedy, but it happens to performers all of the time. Just look at Tupac.

This deal also gives Sony all kinds of distribution rights for Jackson's material until the year 2017. This record-breaking deal gives Sony Music's Columbia Epic Label Group and Legacy Recordings an extension on their rights to Jackson's catalog of music.

But enough of all of these music dealings - I want to get to the important stuff. Who is going to be getting those sequenced gloves?

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MILFs Make Hump Day Better

There is a reason why Stephanie Seymour has appeared on over 300 magazine covers - she's hot as heck. Even now, as a certified MILF, she is making me get inappropriately aroused in this internet cafe.

You may remember her from the million of magazine covers or even possibly some Guns N' Roses music videos. She might not be on top of her boobie-game like she used to be, but she is still looking fantastic.

Being a slim, curvy mom is nothing to be ashamed about. Just look at Salma Hayek; she seems to deal pretty well with being both insanely hot and curvy and also a mom. It's a huge cross to bear, Stephanie, but I think you do it well.

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Heidi Montag gets a Real Acting Job

Heidi Montag may have made a mistake when she had facial surgery a couple of months ago, but apparently she did the right thing by getting her boobs increased to a whopping triple D.

After the big controversy arising from her surgeries, Heidi has landed several new gigs in addition to her regular role on The Hills, and they all seem to be related to her new boob size. First she was hired to film a little video for Funny Or Die where she advocates consumer protection against credit card debt, and now she is in the process of filming a cameo for the movie Just Go With It. This may be Heidi Montag’s big break, since she’ll be acting opposite Jennifer Aniston, Adam Sandler and Nicole Kidman. Below some photos of Heidi during the shooting at El Matador Beach in Malibu, California.

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Heidi Klum’s Originally Topless Photos

Heidi Klum is not only one of the best paid supermodels in the whole world, but undoubtedly the one who has shown her tits the most. This babe has been topless and even naked so many times and in so many positions and situations, that the guys from Allure magazine had to come up with a completely new way to show her body: covered in some sort of white cream that closely resembles cake icing (you know, the Duncan Hines vanilla-flavored substance that comes in a can).

But uniqueness may not have been the only motive behind this Heidi Klum pictorial. Apparently the Allure producers wanted to have her topless in their latest edition but didn’t have the guts to have her show her big bouncy boobs completely bare, so they had to get creative. Not only does Heidi appear covered in cream, but she’s also “lit” by neon lights that strategically placed disguise her nipples. It may not be very erotic, but you gotta give these guys some credit for originality.

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Marisa Miller Bikini Pictures

If you’re a fan of Marisa Miller, and enjoy seeing this super babe in a bikini (who doesn’t?), there’s no need for you to wait for the next Victoria’s Secret catalog to be printed. Here’s a lot of pictures of America’s most popular VS angel posing in the most flattering swimsuits.

These photos are obviously the “winners” among more than twenty thousand snapshots taken by Victoria’s Secrets photographers of Marisa Miller this season. Needless to say, she looks awesome in each and every one of them, but isn’t it a shame they never let the discarded photos see the light? I bet there’s plenty of juicy material there, from nipple slips to full bikini malfunctions, you’d be able to see lots of good stuff! May be one day a disgruntle employee will unearth all those shots… and I’ll be right here waiting to post them!

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Mischa Barton’s Credit Card Declined At Whole Foods

Mischa Barton is broker than Lindsay Lohan. And that’s saying something.

We’ve all known that Mischa hasn’t been able to get any steady work in years, but I didn’t know it was bad that she couldn’t even buy herself some munchies. Mishy is notorious for getting baked up and munching out the past few years. Thus the weight gain, cellulite and loss of jobs.

When she tried to get her eat on a Whole Foods the other night, she got so hungrythat she started eating her pre-made pasta bowl while waiting in line to check out. Bad idea considering when the cashier ran her credit card she got the Big D. DECLINED. FAIL.

She immediately started digging through her purse trying to dig up enough cash, but in the end her friend had to bail her out and pay.

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Did Lady Gaga Pass Out On Stage From Not Eating?

Have you noticed how thin Lady Gaga has gotten lately? No? Everyone else has. In fact I read an article the other day that quoted close sources as saying that she barely eats at all.

To back up a bit, a source deep inside Camp Gaga tells us people have been on her ass (no pun intended) to lose weight, to begin with. Supposedly, Gaga’s “Paparazzi” video shoot last April is when things started get touchy on the subject of weight.

“Producers had to shoot around her. They draped fabric over her thighs and shot her backside with a softer lens,” adds our eyewitness source. “They did everything they could to hide her not-so-flattering areas.” We’re told the negative comments by onlookers were so harsh that the usually confident Gaga has become so self-conscious that she’s practically stopped eating altogether.

Maybe this is the reason she nearly fainted on stage in New Zealand the other night. See Video. Of course her peeps claims exhaustion and dehydration…but that’s industry code for ‘eating disorder’.

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Demi Moore Harper’s Bazaar Fantasy Photo Shoot

I have a major girl crush on Demi Moore right now for some reason.

I know she’s 70% plastic and pulled and tightened everywhere, but still…she’s like this fresh, addicting fountain of youth or something. This photo shoot makes her appear even younger. Love the timely Alice in Wonderland fantasy theme.

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Mackenzie Philips Before and After $50,000 Botox Treatments

When I read that Mackenzie Phillips debuted the new $50,000 “refreshed” look on “Good Morning America” I expected to see a knock-out, at least ten-years younger woman. But sadly…no. If that’s what $50K gets you at her plastic surgeons office…then she needs to talk to Demi Moore. (See next post)

Phillips, last seen doing the rounds for her incest-detailing memoir, had $50,000 in Botox, facial fillers, laser treatments, hair extensions, and dental work. Phillips, who touted something for her face called Sculptra in 2005 and previously admitted to an eye job, said she isn’t trying to change her look, just demonstrate her new-found inner peace.

“I’ve no desire to erase anything,” she told GMA. “I’m really happy.”

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Kate Bosworth & Alexander Skarsgard Go Public

It’s not an official confirmation from their people, but these photos of Alexander Skarsgard and Kate Bosworth all cuddly at LA’s Doughboys Bakery & Cafe pretty much confirm that they very much involved.

They’ve both been quite about their relationship ever since they were seen holding hands at a Golden Globes afterparty in January. It makes sense that they would hook up. Alex likes them on the thin side..he is rumored to have had something to do with Lady Gaga’s rapid weight loss after they worked together on her Paparazzi video. And Kate is one of the thinnest in town for sure.

They do look good together..but there isn’t much love to be found for this couple anywhere. Kate is a serial man-stealer and I don’t know a single True Blood fan that wants to see Eric hooked up with someone so unremarkable.

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Jessica Simpson’s Reality Show Bombs

VH1 reality show The Price of Beauty were…ugly.

Despite heavy promotion, Monday’s premiere attracted just 1 million viewers. Around 487,000 people tuned in for the encore later in the night. The show got beat by a rerun of NCIS on USA, a TruTV series called Operation Repo and History Channel’s Pawn Stars (which rocks by the way).

Just so you’ll understand how bad only 1 million viewer is, former American Idol Fantasia Barrino had a stronger debut for her VH1 reality show, Fantasia For Real. Her show premiere nabbed 2.3 million viewers and no one gives a crap about her.

A VH1 rep tells Us: “We’re very pleased with the show. A million-and-a-half viewers tuned in that night to see the first episode. We expect that audience to build even more.”

Maybe if they get a new host. The premise is not bad…it’s just too painful to watch Jessica Simpson stumble her way through anything. Seriously VH1…we can’t take her seriously. If you want her on your network put her in a comedy.

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Kim Kardashian Gets Dolled Up for Quick Trim

Still situated down in the sunshine state, Kim Kardashian was busy tending to work duties in Miami, Florida on Wednesday afternoon (March 17).

Giving a smile and a wave to paparazzi, the E! reality star looked breathtaking in a sexy purple dress as she took a quick break from a Quick Trim photo shoot.

Seemingly never short of money-making opportunities, Miss Kardashian recently revealed that she has recently taken part in two calendar shoots for 2011.

Telling that "one is with my blonde hair and one with brunette hair," Kim adds, "We did the blonde shoot last year right before I went back to my darker look and decided I wanted to capture the blonde look, so what better way to do that than to create a calendar?"

The 29-year-old adds, "My wonderful glam squad, Mario, Monica and Frankie, were all there to work their magic and we had such a fun time on set. Nick takes the most beautiful photos and I hope you guys are going to love the calendars."

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Salma Hayek Wants You To Clean Your Colon

Who knew the secret to Salma Hayek’s slim and shapely figure is a cleansing regiment she follows like the Bible? According to Salma, she is consistently filling her body up with juices made of fruits and vegetables. In fact she’s so into it she has her own juicy maker guy and he Fed Exes her concoctions while she’s on the road. But that’s not all, Salma has become such a fan of cleaning her gut that she’s decided to start a business with her juice making partner Eric Helms and they’re planning to help you get your colon nice and clean and also help you lose weight.

According to Eric Salma has been a fan of juicing for a while now and is very dedicated to it and her new business. Her juice products, Cooler Cleanse, will feature five flavors: a green juice, a grapefruit mint, a red juice with beets and apples, young coconut water, and nut milk sweetened with dates. The regiment is supposed to be for three to five days. Sounds yummy…not.

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The Chosen 12 in American Idol

The great divas of long ago are gone and disappeared in the semifinals. And the front runners from the start have turned meek. Some of the American Idol Season 9’s top 12, that were revealed Thursday, have broken the shackles and left the pack, like Crystal Bowersox folk rocker and Texan Casey James guitar-slinging. The rest of the field consists of heavy teen heart throbs and singer/songwriter types.

Now the judges have been so busy trying to decide which cast member to sort out and rub shoulders with that their randomly released boredoms have proven as useful in giving instructions to these contestants as a musical crystal Ball. Simon Cowell’s saying I don’t think you had a moment with that song has become a sign of bad things to come.

So the theme nights of the finals, which start Tuesday on Fox, 8 p.m. with songs coming from the catalog of the Rolling Stones, could supply a much needed structure for the aspiring contestants. Most probably some of the caterpillars when unleashed by the new materials outside their comfort zone cocoons and emerge to be great butterflies. Until then, this is how the American Idol
Top 12 is shaping up.

Didi Benami is a cute Southern blonde is going on her peak and feels like she doesn’t look as if she’s a trying hard contestant. Crystal Bowersox is a dread locked and self assured as she has emerged as the Chosen one for Simon Cowell. Lacey Brown is a veteran from Season 8’s Hollywood round but will have to step up her game plan to stick around. Lee DeWyze, with the Judges’ enthusiasm for this rocker throat, they disregard his apparent inability to stay in tune. Andrew Garcia has been an early favorite with a strong YouTube following has struggled to adapt. Casey James has the broadest musical background of the 12 and the best guitar player the show has seen.

Aaron Kelly a kid compared to the others hut standing tall and hanging on to his projecting as a twenty something country singer hopefully he could hang on. Michael Lynche is showing his worth in the semifinals showing transforms himself from a hunk to a hulk in performance. Siobhan Magnus who Simon call a funny little thing is getting great reviews, hopefully she can keep it that way. Paige Miles is a true belter who is a more perky pop and rocker than an R&B diva. Katie Stevens, the bubbly teen, struggling with talent show taste, looks as if she is a member of a Glee cast. Tim Urban the last minute replacement for a disqualified American Idol member is hanging on because of his looks and not his singing.

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Kate Gosselin Needs To Get a Slap of Reality

Can you believe this broad Kate Gosselin? Not only is it bad enough we have to tolerate her until she gets eliminated from ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars”, but now reports are surfacing from the set of the show that she is behaving like a b***h and making life difficult for cast and crew alike. Who the eff does she think she is? Her fifteen minutes of fame are way over. Please, please, please television gods make her go away back to obscurity and her really bad haircuts and leave us television public alone. Oh yeah, and take that other fool Jon Gosselin with her.

But meanwhile, on the set of “Dancing With the Stars” people are complaining Kate snubs fellow contestants and generally behaves like an ice queen. A source says, “Kate doesn’t want anything to do with other contestants. While there’s a lot of camaraderie among the crew and other stars including Pamela Anderson, Kate has set herself apart. She wants to be queen bee.”

Maybe her hair extension will fall off in one of her dance moves.

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Erin Andrews Stalker Michael David Barrett Goes to Jail

Today Michael David Barrett, who secret took video of Erin Andrews undressing in her hotel room, was sentenced to 30 months in prison today.

Andrews spoke to the media about how the video is still on the Internet. Andrews obtained a copyright for the video she claims to try to get it off the Internet. Every sentence Andrews used today was about "the video on the Internet," and she suggested you Google her name to see the video.

Andrews is the only celebrity who has ever complained this much about a video of them without clothes on. Chances are she has never been to a beach in Europe.

I only realized today Erin has a terrible lisp, or some sort of severe speech impediment, that leads me to believe she only got her ESPN sportscaster job because of her looks.

I took Andrews’ advice and Googled the video, and she’s right, since she won’t stop talking about it the video, and pictures of her are still online, there is even a torrent of the video. A much shorter version of the video is also still online at Google owned Blogger. Nice work Andrews, all that talk is keeping the video alive, and boosting your career. For someone who wants to put this in the past, and says she is full of anger, she certainly does her best to get people interested in looking at the video.

When celebrities get more work and see their popularity surge, because intimate videos of them get leaked online, it’s difficult to consider them a victim.

I’ve seen the video which shows Andrews walking around her hotel room without clothes on talking on the phone, curling her hair, and constantly check out her behind. When Andrews is at work she wears tight pants, and tight shirts or sweaters, which according to her isn’t supposed to attract the attention of someone like Barrett who obviously has a problem with self control.

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Lil Wayne Arrest Warrant Issued in Arizona

Lil Wayne miss he court date in Arizona yesterday, because he is serving one year in jail in New York state for an illegal gun found on his tour bus. The judge in Arizona automatically issued a warrant for Lil Wayne’s arrest to make sure he shows up when he gets out of jail.

The case in Arizona started in January of 2008 when DEA agents found 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine, 41 grams of ecstasy pills, and a 40-caliber pistol on Wayne’s tour bus. Wayne pleaded not guilty to the charges, and then missed his court date.

Chances are Wayne will serve time in Arizona now that he has a prior gun conviction.

The rap profession is not as easy as other musical endeavors. In order to have street credibility you have to be a criminal, because the audience is made up of criminals, potential criminals, or people who fantasize about being criminals. Would you do time in jail to help your career?

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