December 21, 2009

Jersey Shore's Snooki Comes to SNL

Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi from Jersey Shore, stopped by the Weekend Update desk on Saturday Night Live last night to share her insight on various topics.

The Princess of Poughkeepsie talked about this week's episode, which featured her getting knocked the f*%k out, as well as the traits she looks for in a guido.

The best thing about this faux interview with Snooki (played by SNL's Bobby Moynihan) is news anchor Seth Meyers trying to keep a straight face throughout.

Jersey Shore on Weekend Update

We can sympathize with Seth, given that, well, this is Jersey Shore. The SNL spoof was classic in that it only slightly exaggerates the absurdity of the real show.

Also making a brief cameo was The Situation (Mike Sorrentino, played by Bill Hader), showing off his seriously ripped abs, gold chains and slicked-back hair.

It's hard to even look at "Snooki" without bursting out laughing, so wait until you hear the audio of this scintillating Q&A. Check out the video after the jump ...

Attorney of Shane Sparks Blames "Hollywood Style Extortion" for Molestation Charges

Shane Sparks is out of jail.

The award-winning choreographer posted bail last night, and his attorney quickly responded to charges that his client is guilty of child molestation, stemming from a decade-old incident.

Steve Meister says Sparks will fight against what he refers to as "extortion, Hollywood style."

Shane Sparks Pic

As a refresher: Sparks has served as a judge on America's Best Dance Crew. He was arrested on Friday and charged with eight counts of child molestation.

However, Meister told TMZ the whole arrest "stinks to high heaven" because his client's accuser waited 15 years before she came forward. He claims she's just interested in Sparks' fame/fortune.

Meister says the charges "are completely without merit" and the dancer "knows he is innocent and will fight to clear his name." We'll keep readers apprised of this case as it moves forward.

Evi Quaid Arrested Yet Again

Evi Quaid, the crazy wife of actor Randy Quaid, was apparently arrested in Marfa, Texas, Saturday evening. No, this isn't an old story. It happened again.

A bench warrant was issued for Evi and Randy Quaid on December 15 after they failed to show for another court appearance. That's just what they do.

Evi was arrested at 6:30 p.m. by the Marfa P.D. at the Quaids' West Texas home. For whatever reason, Randy was not arrested, according to reports.

She was transported to Hudspeth County Jail for processing. Said a spokesman:

“Evi was booked at Hudspeth County Jail for the outstanding warrant out of Santa Barbara County. She bailed out at 7 a.m. by Freedom Bail Bonds."

What a great name for a company.

Evi Quaid Pic

INSANE: Randy and Evi Quaid may not know where they are right now.

This all stems from their arrest for skipping out on a pricey hotel bill in Santa Barbara, Calif. Randy and Evi Quaid are accused of defrauding an innkeeper of $10,000.

After they were busted, Evi flipped out on police, alleging conspiracies.

She proceeded to write an angry, theory-filled letter to a judge and sent some nude pictures in to a local newspaper editor. Who knows why, but we're very serious.

This is not exactly the first account of erratic behavior from the actor's wife, who's also been accused of calling people Nazis and tearing down satellite dishes lately.

We're a little scared she's gonna come after us, as a matter of fact.

Brittany Murphy Dies of Heart Attack

Actress Brittany Murphy is dead after tragically falling into full cardiac arrest this morning and could not be revived by medical personnel, according to reports.

The New Jersey native was only 32 years old.

A 911 call was made at 8:00 a.m. from a home in Los Angeles that is believed to be owned by her husband, Simon Monjack, the L.A. Fire Department said.

Murphy, whose film credits include Clueless, 8 Mile and Don't Say a Word, was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and was pronounced dead on arrival.

Brittany Murphy in Lingerie

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy (1977-2009) passed away this morning.

While the circumstances resulting in Murphy's cardiac arrest are not known at this time, the actress' young age is bound to raise plenty of suspicions and questions.

Brittany wed Simon Monjack in May 2007, after which she has largely been absent from the spotlight. Her last big films were Sin City (2005) and Happy Feet (2006).

It's far too early to speculate about any drug use being involved, but Monjack himself was just hospitalized after a bizarre incident at LAX airport November 30.

We'll keep you posted as more details become available ...

UPDATE, 5:00 p.m. EST: According to TMZ, Brittany's mom discovered her unconscious in the shower. When paramedics arrived, they quickly determined Murphy was in full cardiac arrest and immediately administered CPR.

The paramedics continued CPR en route to the hospital, but Murphy was unresponsive and pronounced dead at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

The LAPD has launched an investigation.

UPDATE, 6:30 p.m. EST: Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, told hospital staff at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center he did not want an autopsy performed on her.

His reasoning for that request is not known. However, despite Monjack's wishes, the L.A. County Coroner's office will in fact perform an autopsy on Murphy.

Murphy's mom apparently told paramedics that Brittany had a history of diabetes. It is unclear if that's true, or if it contributed to her death in some way.

UPDATE, 9:45 p.m. EST: According to the L.A. County Coroner's Office, foul play is not suspected at this time. Some prescriptions were found in the house (what kinds, we don't know), and they will be examined in addition to the autopsy.

The toxicology tests will likely take several weeks.

Story developing ...

Tila Tequila Claims: Surrogate Motherhood Ahead

Warning: Tila Tequila has posted the following on her Twitter account.

Therefore, one should take it with a grain of salt the size of her fake boobs.

But the 28-year old reality star has written:

“BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: I am going to become a SURROGATE MOTHER for my brother & his wife!!! That is my xmas present to them. I’m pregnant!!!!… I love my brother! This will change his life and mine forever!!!”

We agree, assuming this Tweet contains an ounce of truth.

Earlier this month, Tila announced she was engaged to Casey Johnson. She often makes The National Enquirer seem like a reliable source.

Tequila Pic

Tila Tequila pregnant? Maybe. Tila Tequila a few cards short of a full deck? Always.

K-Fed Takes Second Job as Border Guard

Just kidding. It's for a movie. But we know you believed us, which tells you a lot about the great Kevin Federline, a.k.a. the former Mr. Britney Spears.

K-Fed was originally supposed to play himself in the new American Pie movie, but after reconsidering it, Pie honchos felt that would tarnish the brand.

Again, kidding. But totally realistic.

"They called me up and asked if I was interested," Federline said. "I was up for a different part originally, but then they didn't want me playing myself."

"They thought it'd be funnier for me to be a Canadian border guard."

Border Guard

They were right. Somehow it just works.

One day of shooting later, Federline was transformed, donning a hat, uniform and badge for his cameo in American Pie Presents: The Book of Love.

The one-time backup dancer and aspiring rapper, whose fat ass actually lost weight recently on Celebrity Fit Club, is ready and available for work.

"If anybody has any more cameos – or actual roles they want me to be in – that would be great," the 31-year-old father of four says.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love comes straight to DVD tomorrow.

Kendra Wilkinson Plans for Baby Number-Two

Kendra Wilkinson wasted no time giving an interview after she became a mother. She spoke to OK! Weekly from the hospital hours after welcoming Hank Baskett IV into the world.

Similarly, the former nude model says she wants to waste little time expanding her family.

“We definitely want another kid right away, because we want the two kids to be close in age,” she said recently. “We want four, but you know, we are taking it one step at a time. We’re concentrating on our first child and seeing where things go from there.”

Kendra, Hank

For Baskett, a wide receiver on the Colts, catching touchdown passes and breaking tackles isn't what life is all about.

“Being a loving husband and father is what I’ve always described as the definition of a successful man," he said.

Kendra, meanwhile, is accustomed to attention via her naked body. But a baby does even more for her profile... and her family.

“He completes the family,” she told OK!. "It’s so cool how this little baby, this little bundle of joy, just brought all families together. Hank’s family was out here, everybody was out here for this. Not one person was missing.”

Lucas Till: I Dated Taylor Swift!

Lucas Till is not one to kiss and tell. At least not when he's actually dating someone famous.

But talk to the young actor months after a relationship fizzles out and he's happy to go into detail about it. Case in point:

In an interview with MTV last week, Till revealed that he dated Taylor Swift soon after appearing in her video for the single "You Belong With Me."

"We dated for a little bit. But, there was no friction because we were too nice," he said. "Most relationships work out cause you get along and then you don't, and then you make up and its passionate, and with us I really just liked her as a friend. That’s the only reason that didn't work out."

That's confusing logic, but an interesting admission.

Lucas Till PictureT. Swizzle Picture

Till also co-starred with Miley Cyrus in the Hannah Montana movie and was rumored to be dating her in mid-2008. Asked which of these beauties is a better kisser, the actor replied:

"I chose Taylor Swift [in August] and I'm gonna stick with that answer."

Ouch. Tough break, Miley. You might wanna keep Liam Hemsworth away from Taylor in that case.

Chris Henry Autopsy Results: Blunt Force Head Trauma Took NFL Star's Life

Autopsy results show that Chris Henry died from blunt-force trauma to the head, the Mecklenburg (N.C.) Medical Examiner said regarding the late NFL star.

Henry sustained a fatal head injury after an argument fiancée Loleini Tonga. He fell to the road after jumping on the back of a pick-up truck she was driving.

Witnesses say that Loleini Tonga was fleeing her family's home in North Carolina after a dispute with the football player, despite him imploring her to stay.

It is unclear how fast the truck was going when Henry fell and hit his head, but judging by the Chris Henry 911 call, it was likely a fairly high rate of speed.

He was taken to the hospital in critical condition but did not recover.

Chris Henry Image

R.I.P. Chris Henry (1983-2009).

Henry's death was announced at 6:36 a.m. Thursday at a North Carolina hospital. Plastic flowers and good wishes adorn the stretch of road where he fell.

The troubled sports star was set to wed Tonga in March, but he was "aggravated" with his wedding plans, which may have contributed to their fight.

Homicide detectives are currently investigating the case and no charges have been filed against Tonga though police have not yet cleared her name.

Chris was cut from the Bengals in April 2008 after getting arrested five times in 28 months. The Bengals decided to give him another chance before the 2008 season started and he credited Loleini Tonga for helping him turn the corner.

Henry’s team reportedly attended a funeral service for the wide receiver following their narrow loss against the Chargers in San Diego yesterday afternoon.

Tiger Woods: Mr. Innocent Strip Club Regular

Tiger Woods liked to pretend he was a shy little cub at strip clubs, but in truth, the wild cat knew what he liked and frequented such establishments often.

The "innocent strip club virgin" was just his alter ego of sorts.

Anyone out there surprised at this point?

Prior to his explosive sex scandal, the tail-chaser made a point of visiting NYC's Scores, where each time, he pretended he was a "virgin to strip clubs."

That's according to Scores manager Tony Lombardi, who says that to cover up his actions, the convincingly "innocent" athlete relied on his entourage.

"He would just point and say 'Who's that?' and they would go over and say, 'Tiger Woods wants to meet you.' And they would never leave together."

Strip Club Regular

Night-life impresario Rocco Ancarola, who hired Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel to lure VIPs to his Pink Elephant club, said VIPs are closely guarded.

Tiger benefited from an industrywide reluctance to whisper about customers and protect their identities, he says, whether it was deliberate or not.

The New York Daily News adds that friends in Tiger Woods' inner sanctum were aware of his wild ways and even his cheating but failed to speak up.

"A lot of us who love him saw this coming," one longtime friend is quoted as saying. "We said, 'You've got to be careful. It's really getting too raggedy.' In his own mind, he may not have thought he was doing anything wrong."

The pal adds that the world's greatest golfer "was under a lot of pressure. He thought he was just letting off steam. He thought of it as a perk."

A perk ... or 11. That's how many Tiger Woods mistresses we know of, and the guy was supposedly being discreet. Who knows the actual tally.

The Vampire Diaries is Better Than Twilight, Newspaper Claims

Ding! Ding!

It's about to be on between Twi Hards and Diary Devotees.

A few weeks after New Moon broke box office records, and The Vampire Diaries debuted to strong ratings on The CW, at least one journalist is taking a controversial side: he says the latter franchise is superior to the former.

Why does Ari Karpel of The New York Post prefer Paul Wesley and company to Robert Pattinson and his much-hyped saga? He lists a few reasons:

1. Blood and gore: The Vampire Diaries is "a more traditional vampire horror tale than Twilight," Karpel writes, as the movie series focuses more on romance than murder. After all, he points out, the Cullens don't even have fangs.

The Salvatore brothers, conversely, flash theirs on every episode. Moreover, there's a growing body count in the fictional CW town of Mystic Falls. Gruesome deaths, not longing stares, are around every corner.

Promo PosterBella and Eddie

2. SEX! Simply put, characters have it on The Vampire Diaries. So far, this isn't the case in the Twilight Saga, as the newspaper accuses that franchise of pushing "falsely neutered innocence."

3. Contrasting heroines: Bella is a blank slate, Karpel says. Fans can project themselves on her, but she has no actual personality. Elena, however "sets an example for young girls as a strong-minded woman." She asks questions and appears truly horrified, as most people would, upon learning Stefan is a vampire.

The Vampire Diaries also came first, of course. While people accuse the show of ripping off the movie, it's actually based on a book series that preceded Stephenie Meyer's collection.

Celebrity Hair Affair: Audrina Patridge

Audrina Patridge is on board for the new season of The Hills, and is also doing her own reality show. We would say that has no chance of succeeding, but Jersey Shore proves that people will watch just about anything, so good luck!

In addition to appearing on multiple shows, Audrina Patridge likes to try out multiple hairstyles. She recently reverted to her more traditional brown color.

"At salon changing my hair!" Audrina wrote of going back to brunette after wrapping up the last season of The Hills. "Eventually ill do something completely different! I love change but for now takin it back to the dark side a bit."

Which color looks better? Vote below!

Audrina Hair Pics

Charlie O'Connell and Sarah Brice: Engaged?

If Charlie O'Connell and Sarah Brice got engaged, that would throw us off.

As we know, The Bachelor is not known for engagements ... at least ones that result in marriages. But according to reports, the former star may have finally popped the question to his final rose recipient from that season.

The Season Seven Bachelor revived his onscreen romance with Brice just last month after breaking up in 2007 ... after O'Connell refused to pop the question.

According to E!, he hasn't made the same mistake twice. Or will make sure he doesn't. The wording is kind of vague as far as whether they're engaged yet.

O'Connell himself said: "As far as marriage goes, we're getting along, moving forward, so down the line, yes, there's a strong possibility we will get married."

"I'll get in trouble if I don't say that," he added. Well that clears it up ... or not. Way to commit, Charlie. And you wonder why she broke up with you before ...

Charlie O

Engaged or not, Charlie O'Connell and Sarah Brice are back on!

Wedding bells or no wedding bells, Jake Pavelka can take comfort in the fact that O'Connell has no doubt that you can in fact find true love on television.

"I think there's a billion ways to find love," O'Connell said. "And on The Bachelor, it seems very possible. It happened for me. I love my girlfriend."

Sure, it's very possible.

No one gotten married from the show in 13 seasons, but hey. Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney (and possibly Charlie and Sarah) look poised to end that.

We can only hope they do.

Natalie White Outwits, Outlasts Russell Hantz on Survivor: Samoa Finale

We demand a recount!

On last night's live finale of Survivor: Samoa, Natalie White was overwhelmingly voted the latest series champion. She takes home one million dollars for her efforts, even though most viewers agree that Russell Hantz controlled the game - and White, really - throughout the season.

After the jury voted, Russell - who took home the $100,000 fan favorite prize for Player of the Season - said "the nice girl outwitted and outplayed" him.

Russell Hantz

As often happens on Survivor, the contestants refused to reward the grand prize to the person that actually played the best game.

Russell was shocked and disappointed by that decision.

"It's amazing to me how people play the game," he told E! News. "You want to be honest, have integrity, in the game? You ever play Monopoly, where you take people's houses and kick 'em out in the street? That's a game. But it's part of it, I guess."

In other words: shame on you, jury, for not acknowledging that Survivor is like any other game. The most skilled player, not the nicest individual, should come out on top.

White, of course, claims her kindness was a strategical skill.

"I made it my mission to get to... try to figure out what the voting criteria was going to be. I think because of the genuine relationships that I built, they wanted to give it to someone they truly know and will do well with the money."

Survivor returns on February 11 with an edition titled Heroes vs. Villains. No doubt Russell will be included in the latter group - and we'll be cheering him on the entire time!

Kate Gosselin: So Alone, So Sad

Kate Gosselin always had trouble making friends.

This was due in part to her abrasive, grating personality the time commitment of raising eight young children and being followed by a TV crew at all times.

But now that she has officially divorced Jon Gosselin, and Jon & Kate Plus 8 (with its crew) is no more, the newly-single mom feels more alone than ever.

"At night, when the kids are in bed, that's a lonely time for her," Kate's friend Jamie Ayers tells Life & Style. "That's when she calls me up and we chat."

"It gets lonely when you're the only adult."

Kate Gosselin and Steve Neild Picture

Step it up, Steve Neild! Your girl is lonely!

During the day, Kate Gosselin tries to fend off the loneliness and depression by staying busy, making unfunny appearances on The Jay Leno Show. Stuff like that.

"Mostly, she gets up at the crack of dawn, works out and makes breakfast," says Jamie. "She runs errands while the kids are at school, and does a lot of baking."

But that isn't enough to fill the void.

Hilariously quoted in this story is Stephanie Santoro, a former nanny who claims she had an affair with Jon. She believes that deep inside, Kate misses her ex.

"There are times she's said she wished the old Jon would come back," Stephanie, who claims Jon did her nine times, said. "She wants that companionship back."

Brittany Murphy's Home Contained Many Prescription Drugs; Star's Final Hours Detailed

Authorities do not suspect any foul play, but Brittany Murphywas taking prescription medication and very ill in the hours before she died of a heart attack Sunday.

The actress was taking prescriptions for flu-like symptoms she had been experiencing for several days. Murphy began vomiting early yesterday and became sick.

In the home, various prescriptions were found written for Brittany Murphy, her husband Simon Monjack, and Brittany's mother. The amount of drugs? Not small.

A source said, "There were a lot ... a lot of prescriptions in the house."

Law enforcement sources say Brittany Murphy collapsed in the bathroom and ended up in the shower, having vomited significantly in the immediate vicinity.

Authorities did not find illegal drugs in the house, but Murphy was definitely taking various prescription medications. Did that contribute to her tragic death?

Brittany Murphy Photograph

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy (1977-2009).

Sources say her condition and the medication could have triggered Murphy's fatal heart attack, but it's too early to know. The LAPD is currently investigating.

Simon Monjack, who married Brittany in 2007, does not want an autopsy performed, but it's not his decision. The L.A. County Coroner's office will conduct one.

Murphy's body should be autopsied today or tomorrow, but the results of the full battery of toxicology tests they're sure to do may not be available for weeks.

Brittany's mother told paramedics her daughter suffered from diabetes, but sources involved in the case doubt the star's diabetes (type 2) led to her death.

More details to follow as the story develops ...