March 2, 2010

Britney Spears: No Bra, No Problem

Having determined that bras are merely a suggestion, global pop sensation Britney Spears headed to Starbucks in Calabasas, Calif., yesterday afternoon.

The beverage? A grande frapuccino.

The weather? Seasonably cool.

Braless BritneyDollar Store Hottie

Britney Spears knows how to keep it casual. [Photos: Fame]

After her trip to the 'Bucks, the newly blonde singer kept her attire comfy while she ran errands. Our girl was later seen at the Dollar Book Store in Encino, Calif.

Aww, is big girl Britney finally learning how to bargain shop? Jamie Spears and her handlers will be proud, having scaled back her allowance to $1,500 a week.

Want more Spears? Check out her latest hair transformation and images from all her recent, exciting outings like this one in THG's gallery of Britney Spears pictures!




Kim Kardashian’s Tightly Wrapped Front Meat

This is what I like to see, Kim Kardashian making sexy faces while spraying her sweet cleavage with cheap perfume. I don’t really care about the perfume, I just like the tightly wrapped boobies she’s sporting. It’s too bad that Kim’s big ass gets all the attention because her front meat is quite enjoyable. Now if someone could replace that crappy perfume bottle with a water pistol filled with baby oil we’d be in business.

Trista Sutter Bikini Picture

As far as bikini pictures go these shots of The Bachelorette Trista Sutter lounging by the pool aren’t exactly Jessica Alba with her ass in the air, but they’ll do for now because I like pseudo-celebrities in their swimsuits. She looks good though, I think she had a baby too which makes her a pseudo-celebrity-MILF, which is even better for some perverted reason. I don’t know why, I guess I’m just on a hot older bird kick. That and the fact that it looks a little chilly down there by the pool. Nice.







Eva Longoria’s Ass Looks Off


I want to say that Eva Longoria’s ass looks good in those tights of hers, but I really don’t think I can, something just doesn’t look right and I’m not getting that ‘just climbed the rope in gym class feeling’ down there. Alright, so I’ve discussed it with my crotch and we both agree that it’s possible that it could just be an unflattering camera angle, at least that’s what we’re hoping for, and we’re willing to give her another chance in the future. Don’t waste this opportunity Eva.

Audrina Patridge Adorns FHM

Audrina Patridge Bikini Pictures

Audrina Patridge hasn’t been in much lately, except for a handful of magazines where she’s been flaunting her assets, and FHM is one of them. Dressed in a series of bikinis, the The Hills babe posed in Hawaii for the latest issue of FHM UK, and she even took her bikini top off for some of the photos, although she wasn’t daring enough to show her massive tits to the photographer. Still, you get to see some side boob and just knowing that she’s holding her bare massive melons with her hands should be enough to give any man a good hard-on.

Despite these bikini photos that focus heavily on her boobs, the dark haired actress has been trying to show to the world that she’s more than just boobs, and after the recent release of her ad for PETA, Audrina has started a personal campaign to get people to adopt their next pet. During a recent interview she said:

I wanted to get involved with PETA because I’ve always been passionate about animals, and I think this is a great way to make people and all my fans aware of all the animals that need a home. And a lot of people go to pet stores and breeders to buy their animals, but you should adopt, so go to an animal shelter and rescue a dog.

I’m not sure I need another puppy at this time, but if Audrina is up for adoption, I’m willing to give her a very loving home!







Kim Kardashian Launches New Fragrance

Kim Kardashian Cleavage

Kim Kardashian’s boobies must smell really good, mostly after she publicly sprayed them with a good dose of her signature fragrance. Such a daring move probably had the effect of boosting sales but I guarantee it also increased the activity of salivary glands all over the world. Millions of men must be drooling all over these photos of Kim Kardashian and her good-smelling tits.

The perfume, which will have the name of its maker Kim Kardashian, was unveiled by the beautiful socialite yesterday in a red carpet ceremony in Hollywood. Following the event, Sephora stores launched the product, which so far has record sales, supposedly because it actually captures Kim’s true scent. Regarding the fragrance, Kimmy said:

I […] underwent a complete smell test with every perfume I like to make sure mine is nothing like those. I wanted something rich and creamy and sexy, but still youthful.

Jersey Shore Stars Raise Roof, Survive its Collapse

Celebrating the Jewish holiday of Purim at Manhattan hotspot Solo Saturday, Jersey Shore stars Snooki and Vinny emerged unscathed after the atrium shattered.

Amazingly, it was not because Ronnie Magro threw some dude through the plate glass. The thing just plain collapsed. These things just happen sometimes, right?

"Its okay Vin and I are still alive. Omg roof just collapsed at the purim event!," Nicole Polizzi tweeted. "We thought the dj was beatin the beat hardcore but nope."

"The roof just couldn't handle snooki and vin."

Definitely not.

Snooki and Vinny

Vinny Guadagnino and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi are okay. Exhale.

Summing it up, Snooki wrote: "The roof may have fallen and no 1 got hurt, but the party still goes on! I'm glad everyone's ok. Thank you to the owners of Solo Restaurant for taking care of everybody and letting us keep the Purim Party poppin!"

Well said, Snooks.

Vinny Guadagnino, on the other hand, had a different take on it: "Roof just collapsed at Purim event.... I think me and @sn00ki felt the wrath for not being Jewish."

Luckily, only a few peeps suffered minor injuries, while the majority - Sex and the City's Chris Noth among them - fist pumped late into the night after the incident.






Did Dr. Conrad Murray Cover Up Evidence?

Dr. Conrad Murray may have hidden and tried to cover up the means by which Michael Jackson died on June 25, according to law enforcement sources.

MJ received his final, fatal dose of Propofol through an IV in his leg, and Murray told cops he administered only a very small amount of Propofol: 2.5ml.

But Dr. John Dombrowski, a noted anesthesiologist who reviewed the LAPD file for detectives, tells TMZ that 2.5ml couldn't even put Jackson to sleep.

Let alone kill the man.

The autopsy report, to that end, notes the level of Propofol found in Jackson was equivalent to what is found in "general anesthesia for major surgery."

So what is Conrad Murray not saying?

Bad DocJackson, M.

A small, empty, 20 ml bottle of Propofol was found in the bedroom, but a secret compartment in a nearby closet contained numerous bottles of Propofol as well.

Along them? A large, empty, 100ml bottle with a large tear in the rubber stopper. A tear in the stopper is made to connect an entire bottle of Propofol to the IV.

If this is done, the doctor must use an infusion pump to regulate the flow of Propofol, or else the patient could easily OD. There was no infusion pump found.

Law enforcement sources believe Dr. Murray may have used the 100 ml bottle, then either tried regulating the flow by eyeballing it or letting it flow by itself.

Either way, that would be reckless, as Dr. Murray himself said he left to go to the bathroom at one point (see related Michael Jackson death timeline dispute).

If Dr. Murray did indeed empty the full 100 ml bottle into Jackson's system, that would be 40 times more Propofol than the physician said he administered.

No word if the prosecution plans to argue this in Dr. Murray's involuntary manslaughter case. The doctor has been charged, pending a preliminary hearing

Adam Lambert Cops to Past Drug Use, Curiosity About Women

Adam Lambert is off to Great Britain.

The American Idol finalist is pretty much a stranger to that country, so News of the World - one of that nation's leading supermarket tabloids - interviewed Lambert the month before he makes his first overseas appearance there.

Describing him as "Lad Gaga" for his "outspoken attitudes" and "rauncy routines," the unreliable source spoke to the singer in NYC and asked him if he'd ever sleep with a woman.

"I find women beautiful and I have been known to make out with girls at parties, especially when there is alcohol involved," Adam said, days after his publicize kiss with Ke$ha. "I am a pretty open-minded person and I would have sex with a woman... anything is possible because I am really comfortable with sexuality generally."

This isn't the first time Lambert has spoken about his curiosity over women. We could think of a few (million) fans that wouldn't mind showing Adam what he's been missing.

Pic of Adam

Delving into his adolescence, the tabloid also asked Lambert about influences such as Boy George and David Bowie. During this line of questioning, the singer's past drug use came out. He said:

"I went wild and I was experimenting with certain substances... At 26, I started running with hippies, going to underground events, I was really drawn to that crowd, everyone embraced each others differences.

There are certain drugs out there that are really fun and recreational and can mean a good time. I'm not an advocate for drugs, but it is all rock and roll and we are all adults."

More honesty from the star. Some might criticize him for this admission, others will simply admire him more.





Kim v. Kourtney: Klash of the Similarly-Klad Kardashians

Their first names begin with the same letter, they share the same DNA and they collaborated on the same clothing line.

Now, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are adding another similarity to their resume: they've been spotted out in the same dress from their Bebe-sponsored collection.

In separate public events, both sisters bared a shoulder and posed for the camera in the single-strapped black ensemble below. Kim accessorized with a dangling necklace, Kourtney showed off her neck.

Whose look do you prefer?

K vs.K






Happy 16th Birthday, Justin Bieber!

That cheering you hear across the nation, THG readers? It might sound like the welcoming of March, as snowbound citizens celebrate the impending arrival of spring, but it's actually something more.

It's the thousands and thousands of birthday wishes being screamed, Tweeted and texted to Justin Bieber. The singer turns 16 today.

Already a global sensation, Bieber can now drive himself to concerts, or to first dates with very luck female fans (just not with Miley Cyrus). The Canadian pop singer already received a wonderful gift last night, as his native country captured the ice hockey gold medal.

Young Ladies Man

We encourage Bieber supporters to send in your birthday wishes right now. After all, is there anything someone would rather hear on his/her big day than the following, which a reader posted on our site last month?

omg! justin bieber u r so totally hot , hehehe if i didnt have a bf already i date u... ur hair is really hot :)

In less important celebrity birthday news: Ke$ha turns 23 today and Mark-Paul Gosselaar (yes, Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell) turns 36.

Sorry, guys, but you're overshadowed by the biggest 16th birthday of 2010.

Simon Monjack Rails Against Latest Brittany Murphy Findings, Needs to Go Away

Brittany Murphy’s husband Simon Monjack is furious over a report that the star obtained medication - a majority of which is MIA - just before she died.

The late actress, who died in December, allegedly secured a prescription for 120 hydrocodone pills 11 days before her death. Only 11 were found after.

At the recommended maximum of four per day, she would have taken only 44 of them, and you can do the math there. So where are the missing pills?

Monjack says the pills were prescribed to Brittany’s mom Sharon, a cancer survivor, and the report is so outrageous that he's considering legal action.

What a surprise there.

Mr. & Mrs. Monjack

THE MONJACKS: Simon Monjack has been outspoken since Brittany's passing. Is he trying to clear her name, or his own? What is his agenda at the end of the day?

The release of Brittany Murphy’s autopsy report on February 26 ended all rumors and hurtful speculation that the actress had abused drugs, Simon says.

But a day after that report was released, a website claimed that 109 pills were missing from a bottle of 120, leading to renewed speculation over Murphy.

The article asked why so many pills prescribed in the first place, and by whom, while saying Simon Monjack has provided no help in locating the doctor.

As always, the bad seed has his own version of events.




Tiger Woods: Advised By Presidents Clinton, Obama

U.S. Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton have both been offering Tiger Woods encouragement while he's in rehab for sex addiction (and/or drug addiction).

Tiger has spoken with Obama and Clinton, Golf Digest's Jaime Diaz says. One would think both have more important things to do, but hey, that's great.

Diaz also confirms Woods visited the Gentle Path clinic in Mississippi.

Woods came in with a "whatever it takes" mentality, including on "Disclosure Day," whereby patients reveal all of their past indiscretions to their spouse.

So Elin heard about all Tiger Woods' mistresses. Hope they ordered in breakfast, lunch and dinner, 'cause that therapy session couldn't have been brief.

Diaz also confirms that Elin Nordegren visited Woods at the clinic, and that the couple and their children spent Christmas together in Southern California.

Rehab Golfer

Woods' mother is quoted in the article, and is described as "staunchly supportive of her son," despite the damage his sex scandal has caused their family.

Some other sites have made note of Tida Woods' past interviews with Diaz and speculate that she could be the source of many of his piece's revelations.

But the most surprising item in the Golf Digest article is the news about Woods' contact with two presidents. Clinton? Sure, dude's pretty much been there.

But President Obama also making a personal call to offer encouragement? Really, Barack? What do you have to offer, and why does he deserve your help?

As for his return to golf, which remains up in the air after Woods' apology speech, his mother says only following: "He will face himself, solve the problem."

"When he comes back, he will still love to play and love to win. I think more than ever, because his closet will be cleaned out and his mind will be free. And I know he will break [Jack Nicklaus' record 18 major championships]," she says.

That's one thing we wouldn't bet against.

Jared Padalecki and Genevieve Cortese: Married!

Less than two months after confirming his engagement to one-time Supernatural co-star Genevieve Cortese, Jared Padalecki has tied the knot with her.

The 27-year-old CW star swapped vows with Cortese in the bride's hometown of Sun Valley, Idaho, on Saturday, and the whole family turned out for it.

Padalecki's older brother, Jeffrey, served as his best man, while his TV brother Jensen Ackles was one of his groomsmen. Sounds like a great time was had!

The couple met back in 2008 while filming Season 4 of the demon-hunting sci-fi hit, when the 29-year-old Cortese portrayed (you guessed it) a demon.

Apparently an enticing one for Jared Padalecki!

Padalecki PicGenevieve Cortese

Congratulations to newlyweds Jared Padalecki and Genevieve Cortese!

Report: Brooke Mueller Wants to Divorce Charlie Sheen

It looks like Charlie Sheen may have threatned to murder one wife too many.

The day after news leaked out that Sheen once shoved down ex-wife Denise Richards and told her he hoped she'd "f-cking die," a new report states that Brooke Mueller will file for divorce from the actor.

Sources tell Radar Online that both sides of the marriage "are miserable." According to insiders, Brooke is getting treated for substance abuse at home and will start legal proceedings to separate from Sheen soon after his court case for domestic violence is complete.

Wedding Day Pic

Charlie Sheen's dream wedding has turned into Brooke Mueller's worst nightmare, well.

“Brooke wants out. She’s said it before and she’s saying it again right now,” a family friend said.. “She’s worried, though, because Charlie has a lot of dirt on her. Using drugs while raising children is obviously a horrible situation.”

This source points out that the infamous Christmas Day confrontation began because Mueller told Charlie she wants a divorce and, let's face it, nothing has improved since then. He added:

“The marriage is a nightmare. But each one is worried about ways the other one can hurt them. For Charlie, he’s terrified Brooke can help Colorado prosecutors send him to jail. For Brooke, she knows Charlie knows all the dirt about her drug and alcohol use.”

All we know is this: the drama is more interesting than all Two and a Half Men episodes of all-time put together.

David Archuleta Memoir Planned, Single Leaked

Some time during season nine, Adam Lambert will perform on American Idol.

It's safe to assume David Archuleta will, as well.

We can make this assumption because the former runner-up is releasing a memoir on May 4. It's titled "Chords of Strength" and here are a few snippets about it, courtesy of Amazon.com:

David Archuleta was named one of the "breakout stars of 2008" by Forbes magazine and landed the number two spot on the Billboard charts.

In Chords of Strength, David shares his unexpected and inspiring journey, including how he overcame vocal cord paralysis to achieve his dream of being a singer. He reveals insecurities he felt about his voice-before he realized that he loved the way singing made him feel more than he disliked the way he sounded.

In this personal memoir, David opens up about the strength he draws from his unshakable faith and unyielding family. He pays tribute to those who continue to inspire him and through their example help him believe in himself, his talent, and his abilities.

David Archuleta Memoir

Meanwhile, a single off Archuleta's upcoming album has also leaked online.

Give a listen to "She's Not You" below.


She's Not You

Rumored Couple Alert: Dane Cook & Julianne Hough?

In news that makes us long for the Chick Wicks era, Julianne Hough had dinner with none other than Dane Cook at Hollywood's Katsuya sushi restaurant Saturday.

The raunchy funnyman and the country cutie, who arrived seperately, left the celeb hot spot eatery in Dane's car, possibly continuing their night elsewhere.

We don't even wanna think about that.

Julianne was previously linked to Jared Followill since her split from Wicks. Guess that never panned out. Now she's back on the market ... or at least she was.

If these two are dating, do you think it's a good match or one you can't possibly see working? Is Dane Cook a step down or a huge step down for the dancer?

Dane Cook and Julianne Hough

This is just wrong. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Kourtney and Khloe to Take Miami Again

Thank goodness.

Both Khloe Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian have signed on for a second season of their E! reality show, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. It's still unclear where the sisters are taking it, but "into the toilet" appears to be the leading candidate.

Pair of Kardashians

The new season will premiere this summer.

Last year, after being named the stars of their own show, Khloe suddently wed Lakers power forward Lamar Odom; while Kourtney found herself pregnant with a baby that belonged to lazy boyfriend Scott Disick.

It was almost as if producers asked the ladies to spice up their lives in some way. A crazy suspicion, we know. Might their reverse roles this summer, with Khloe getting knocked up and Kourtney walking down the aisle?

Lisa Berger of E! would only tease: "This time it's a whole different world as the pair must embrace their new life roles and juggle their hectic careers as they head back to South Beach where fun always follows."

Pardon us while we vomit.

Friend of Jessica Simpson: John Mayer Brought Her to "Dark Places" Sexually

John Mayer recently referred to Jessica Simpson as "sexual napalm," a woman so wild in the sack, he absolutely couldn't stop himself from "f*%king her."

Somewhat similarly, as much as we might like to "unfriend" Jessica Simpson on Twitter, we can't turn it off or hold back from posting her insight on THG.

Jessica has learned a thing or two from her past relationships with the likes of Mayer, Nick Lachey, etc.: "You can't love someone else to change them."

Deep.

"Happiness comes from accepting who they are," the reality star and former singer continued Tweeting. "It is our decision to REALLY know who we love."

We know one guy she's got no love for nowadays.

Twitter Fiend

Jessica Simpson is a Tweeting fiend.

The 29-year-olds most talked-about ex these days is certainly Mayer, who found himself in hot water after candidly telling Playboy all about riding that ass.

He also dropped racial and gay slurs, which was even less cool.

John, who some say she created, likened her to crack cocaine and said she was "crazy" in bed. But did he try to "change" Simpson, as her Tweet implies?

During their time together, "[Mayer] brought her to new places sexually, and they were dark places," an insider said. "She liked being a bad girl and getting manhandled, but now she feels it was a mistake because of what he said in the interview."

We can't decide if that's LOL or TMI material.

Another Jessica Simpson source adds that the star is "disgusted" by Mayer's remarks. "He actually texted apologizing, like, 12 times, but she ignored it."

We can't imagine why.

Report: Kate Gosselin Joins Dancing with the Stars

Kate Gosselin will be one of the contestants on the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars, according to reports. This poses an interesting dilemma:

How do they even introduce her on the show? Mother of eight? Bitchy single former reality star? Shameless, self-promoting author with awful hair?

In any case, the official Dancing With the Stars cast announcement will be made this evening as a cross-promotion with The Bachelor season finale.

"I want to laugh at myself. I so cannot dance. It would be a terribly sad sight," said the grating mother of eight on the Jay Leno Show recently.

Which begs the question: what would Gosselin do with her kids during the hours of grueling daily rehearsals for the reality competition show?

Fear the Porcupine

FEAR THE PORCUPINE: Whatever that is on her head, it is a force to be reckoned with as Kate Gosselin is ready to kick ass and take names on Dancing with the Stars.

She will actually prepare her routines in Pennsylvania, near where she lives, instead of in the show's rehearsal studios on the West Coast, according to sources:

"Kate's the kind of woman who will do whatever is necessary for her children. It's great for her to be on the show, but only in a way that benefits her family."

The show was willing to make such a concession since producers believe she will be a ratings bonanza for Dancing with the Stars, and they're probably right.

Kate is now the primary breadwinner for her brood, as the legal battle waged by Jon Gosselin against TLC ate up a big chunk of his money - and notoriety.

He can't do any more TV appearances now until they cut him loose. Which pretty much takes away his only source of revenue - being a douche, but on TV.

Kim Kardashian Helps New Home Sales

It pays to have large breasts, a sex tape and an endorsement deal for an unhealthy weight loss supplement.

Multiple sources report that Kim Kardashian has just purchased a $4.8 million mansion in Beverly Hills.

With her yearly income, boosted by her new fragrance (as pictured below), it's safe to assume Kim didn't need to use any unstable adjustable-rate mortgages on that residence.

As long as she keeps posing on the red carpet, therefore, we doubt she'll fall victim to foreclosure, as so many citizens have in this market.

Fragrance Party

Reggie Bush will soon move into the 4,000 square-foot pad house, which should only fuel engagement rumors between the pair.

We wish Kim and Reggie the very best as they take this step in their relationship. It sounds like the only thing bigger than the new home is the Kardashians' need for attention.

Dates, Venues Announced for Glee Cast Tour

As previously announced, the cast of Glee is going on tour.

Starting on May 18, you can catch Lea Michele and company in the following cities. Tickets go on sale on March 12 at Ticketmaster.com:

  • May 18 Phoenix, AZ Dodge Theatre
  • May 20 Los Angeles, CA Gibson Amphitheatre
  • May 21 Los Angeles, CA Gibson Amphitheatre
  • May 25 Chicago, IL Rosemont Theatre
  • May 26 Chicago, IL Rosemont Theatre
  • May 28 New York City, NY Radio City Music Hall
  • May 29 New York City, NY Radio City Music Hall

The Glee cast will sing favorites such as “Don’t Stop Believin’,” “Jump,” “Don’t Rain on My Parade,” Sweet Caroline" and "Somebody to Love." Watch its rendition of the final song listed below:


Somebody to Love Performance

Dancing with the Stars Cast Includes Jake Pavelka(!), Pamela Anderson and More

While all eyes were on Jake Pavelka Monday night and his decision to marry Vienna Girardi, ABC used its time in the TV spotlight to reveal the new cast of Dancing with the Stars.

The season will NOT include Kym Johnson, Dmitry Chaplin, Jonathon Roberts or Karina Smirnoff as professional partners. But the set of celebrities taking the stage will be comprised of one woman with a large vagina and one with large breasts, among others.

They are:

  • Kate Gosselin: Mother of eight
  • Chad Ochocinco: NFL wide receiver
  • Pamela Anderson (Billed as "The World's Sexiest Woman")
  • Aiden Turner: Soap opera stud
  • Erin Andrews (Should have been billed as "The World's Sexiest Woman")
  • Shannen Doherty: Washed-up actress
  • Buzz Aldrin: Former astronaut
  • Niecy Nash: Reno 911 star
  • Evan Lysacek: Gold Medal ice skater
  • Nicole Scherzinger: Professional singer
  • JAKE PAVELKA: The most-recent Bachelor/ABC-sponsored celebrity

Kate Gosselin Hair (New)Retired Sex Tape GoddessChad Ochocinco

The season kicks off on March 21. Considering the presence of Andrews, it will likely draw in more men than any previous edition.

Considering the presence of Jake, it will hopefully elicit more eye-rolls from anyone that believed for a second that The Bachelor was ever about love.

Think there are any early favorites?

Vienna Girardi: The Bachelor Winner! Engaged to Jake Pavelka on Season Finale!

On an epic season finale, even by The Bachelor standards, Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi decided to spend eternity together. Tears of joy flowed as he proposed.

Congrats, guys! We give it at least a couple of weeks!

Despite her best efforts, Tenley Molzahn could not compare to Vienna, a pariah all season long but a free spirit who has always had a vice grip on Jake's heart.

Our traditional point-system recap of Monday night's shocking events - and the most difficult decision Jake Pavelka will EVER have to make - appears below ...

Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi Picture

Jake reflects that Tenley seems so perfect but he has this "lightning-hot chemistry" with Vienna Girardi. Minus 4, because no one talks like this dolt. No one.

Tenley and Jake jump in the pool with all their clothes on. So totally unrehearsed and totally romantic! Plus 8. The rest of the family joins them. Minus 8.

Sallie, Jake's mom, is not a fan of Vienna. Her weird sarcasm and lack of anything nice to say is really making it awkward. Funny how that works. Plus 2.

Jake thinks his fam's opinion is because he set Vienna up to fail, telling them Vienna was not well-liked in the house. Dude, you are delusional. Minus 5.

Vienna and Jake make out and rub mud all over each other. Plus 17, because this belongs on Cinemax late night and took place on ABC at 8:40 EST.

On the boat, Jake worries he and Tenley have emotional chemistry but he feels no physical chemistry. Tenley sighs, "I feel it." Ouch. Poor girl. Minus 10.

The best production assistant creation of the night goes to the photo collage Tenley "made" for Jake. Honorable mention? Vienna's promise ring. Plus 9.

What a Tough Call

Shirtless Jake tries to look contemplative on the balcony. Neil Lane arrives and the network makes it look like Jake and Neil are BFFs somehow. Plus 17.

Tenley Molzahn is first to hear Jake's decision. Kiss of death. Minus 250 for the wrong choice, and because she "appreciates his honesty." Preposterous.

Vienna arrives and Jake gives back her promise ring, a total fake-out move before he proposes for real. Plus 125 for the writer who thought up that one.

On "After the Final Rose," Jake calls Vienna, who is moving to Dallas with him, his "baby" and says they have "so much heat." We're creeped out. Minus 11.

Chris talks about what a "maverick" Jake is. Sarah Palin rolls in grave. Plus 7.

As predicted, the new star of The Bachelorette is Ali Fedotowsky! Plus 20.

Oh yeah, and Jake has actually been cast on the new season of Dancing with the Stars. Is this a great addition to reality competition? Or a case of ABC forever giving up the farce that The Bachelor is about finding love and not ratings? Eh, we love it. Plus 100.

An Attractive Jersey Shore Cast Member?

Well. Crap. Now I need to stop telling everyone the Jersey Shore cast is just a bunch of ugly d-bags...because apparently at least one of them is attractive and I don't want to seem like a non-man. Which I have been doing a lot lately, with watching Glee and everything.

Jenni Farley, aka JWoWW, has a hot face and a killer body. She is pretty skanky, but then again she is still on the Jersey Shore. It's not like she is transformed into an elite gentlewoman because I realized I can actually look at her and not puke. I need to remember that.

The Jersey Shore is kind of cool because they all get nicknames like superheroes. Snookie, JWoWW, The Situation? I bet mine would be something awesome like... The Well Endowed Guy. Or Bear Killer.

Chelsea Clinton Moves Wedding Date


It was a scary time for Chelsea Clinton when her father President Clinton was hospitalized recently for abnormal chest pains earlier this month. In fact, we’re learning now that the President’s hospitalization left Chelsea so shaken up she decided to move her wedding date up.

A source close to Chelsea said, “All Chelsea could think about was her dad not making it through and her dream of having him walk her down the aisle never materializing. Chelsea decided right then that if her father pulled through; she needed to move up her wedding. She said she’d be happy marrying Marc in front of a justice of the peace or in a quickie ceremony at city hall, as long as her dad could be at her side, despite her wish for a big wedding this summer.”

It’s sad but a blessing when close brushes with death make us realize how precious life is. We’re glad the President is okay and we certainly understand Chelsea’s desire to just get married and not focus on a big wedding celebration. A friend of Chelsea’s said “She’ll probably go ahead with a city hall ceremony rather than wait for an A-list August wedding on Martha’s Vineyard, which had been her dream. This incident has reminded her that her father won’t be around forever.”

Best wishes Chelsea. And we understand her fiancé Marc Mezvinsky is up for doing whatever is requested by Chelsea at this time.

Katherine Heigl Leaving ‘Grey’s Anatomy’?

A very much talked about subject nowadays is what the hell is Katherine Heigl going to do with “Grey’s Anatomy”. So far it looks like she’s leaving the show. Oh yeah remember T.R. Knight’s rocket scientist decision to leave> what did we say? We said it was a mistake because no one would hire him. Were we right or were we right? So far he’s working theatre jobs and even was forced out of his last play. Dumb actors.

Anyway Katherine has always been ungrateful with the show that made her wealthy and recognized. Remember when she criticized the show’s writing? And what about when she made it hard for producers by being a diva and creating havoc on set and with executives during contract negotiations? Now, she thinks she’s big enough to leave the show. We say good luck Katherine. Maybe you and T.R Knight should hang out together.

So Much For Dina Lohan’s Changed Baby Lindsay

Seems like just yesterday when loud mouth fame seeking Dina Lohan, mother to one helluva daughter, Lindsay Lohan was going around how wonderful and talented her child was and how the trip to India in which she saved the lives of all these people really changed her. But wasn’t it us that said “let’s see how long that change lasts.”? Were we right or were we right?

According to reports crazy Lindsay is back to her normal self-centered self that, in our opinion, is never going to change no matter how many trips to five star hotels in India she takes. Recently a fan complimented Lindsay on her work in “The Parent Trap” and she got upset and began to cry. Then she and her mom, who were both in a Las Vegas nightclub (yeah, great parenting example dumb ass Dina), retreated to a cabana and closed the curtains when people were taking their pictures. But that’s not all, Lindsay started harassing the nightclub’s DJ shouting that the music “sucked” and that he should “play some music from today”. And even alluded to her girlfriend Samantha Ronson by saying she “should call a certain ex-girlfriend DJ of mine and have her teach you how to be a real DJ.”

As if that no career Lindsay was going to intimidate the DJ. He responded by not changing his music choice and playing it l



ouder. Ha, ha!


This Is Going to be One Expensive Divorce

Yeah, yeah, we know. You can call us negative, but we just say we’re jaded. Come on, how many young stars get married and last more than five years on the average? We hope for the best, but we brace for anything. In this case we’re talking about Hillary Duff and her privileged hockey player boyfriend Mike Comrie who is heir to a huge Canadian home furnishings retail empire. It must be nice to never have worked in your life and have money.

So Mike proposed to his big toothed girlfriend Hillary (we think Hillary should sue her cosmetic dentist for giving her such huge and ugly tooth caps, by the way. They make her teeth look so unnatural) and has given her a $1 million 14-karat diamond engagement ring. And, they’re looking to buy a $10 million house in Beverly Hills. Oh, yeah. This is starting out horrible already. Romantic and all, but it’s a recipe for disaster. Why? Hillary’s career isn’t as fantastic as it was. She’s managed to hang on, but that’s it. Mike sounds like he’s whipped, which is a recipe for being stomped on. And when the times get tough after Hillary has kids and no one hires her, it’ll be interesting to see what happens.

Brooke Mueller Wants Divorce From Charlie Sheen

Brooke Mueller might not be the cracked-out idiot I thought she was. At least she has the sense to get out of the toxic relationship she’s been in for the past few years. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.. Charlie Sheen = Satan.

Charlie Sheen’s wife Brooke Mueller wants a divorce after his court case for domestic violence is over, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively.

Despite the fact that both Charlie and Brooke’s reps have publicly said they want to work things out, sources who know both of them say it’s actually the exact opposite – both are miserable.

Brooke left two rehab facilities within recent weeks and is doing rehab at home according to her lawyer — the latest chapter in the bizarre saga of her drug and alcohol addiction that has been covered up by her reps.

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“Real Housewife” Kim Zolciak Coming Out Of The Closet

Being a huge fan of The Real Housewives franchise I can tell you truthfully the Atlanta show is just …boring. Sure the wig-pulling was funny for a minute but tdhey shot their reality wad on that one and now it’s just the worst out of them all. In my humble opinion.

Bravo knows all this too and they’ve decided to go in a direction so far not seen on any of the shows. Making a housewife into a lesbian! Since wig-wearing Kim Zolciak doesn’t have a Big Poppa anymore, they’ve replaced her with a Big Momma. It’s all just to convenient and tied up neatly to be real. But faking lesbianism these days is almost as good as releasing a sex tape. Ugh..these two look like the CougarTown version of Lindsay and Sam.

Zolciak, 31, stepped out with her love of three months, DJ Tracy Young, at the Blacks’ Annual Gala in Miami Beach on Saturday. Young, who made a remix of Zolciak’s song “Tardy for the Party,” was overheard saying, “We’re really happy!

A source tells Us, “Tracy broke up with her longtime girlfriend to be with Kim. Since they’ve been together, Tracy lost a lot of weight and got really skinny for Kim. They seem to be beyond happy with each other.”

Last week, Real Housewives of New York star Simon van Kempen (who is married to Alex McCord) hinted to Us that Zolciak’s sexuality would be a storyline on the Bravo reality series.

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Video: Robert Pattinson Is “Bothered” On Jimmy Fallon

If you’ve never seen an episode of Jimmy Fallon’s “Rob Is Bothered” you are missing one of the funniest things surrounding the Twilight madness.

There are several more on YouTube with subject like ‘Snickers Ads’ and ‘Shark Week’ if you have some free time go watch them.

By Tuesday morning we should have the brand new featuring Robert Pattinson himself. I’ll post it as soon as it becomes available.

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Tween A-Lister Blind Item

This is the grossest Blind Item I’ve read …. possibly ever. Our friends at CrazyDaysAndNights posted the following about an A List female tween star. After reading you decide if it’s: Miley Cyrus – Demi Lovato(Sonny With A Chance) – Selena Gomez(Wizards of Waverly Place) – Emma Roberts – Taylor Momsen(Gossip Girl) or Miranda Hargrove (iCarly).

Apparently this one is very close to breaking out into the open, so I wanted to get it on here quickly. This A list female tweener from a cable channel recently wandered into a party drunk out of her mind. When she first arrived she ignored everyone else and just sat on the lap of the guy who brought her to the party. She then takes out an eight ball of coke and snorts line after line, not even paying attention to the rest of the people at the party. Some people leave, so there’s only about 5 or 6 people left, and she keeps saying how hot she is so she just takes off her shirt, breasts totally exposed. At this point everyone else is kind of like “what in the….” Anyway a little later on, everyone’s still drinking, she gets up on this bunk bed that’s in the living room with the guy she came with, on the top bed. She just hikes up her skirt and pulls him on top of her. He asks if she wants a condom and she says “nah, f**k it”. They then had sex in front of a room of people. After having sex, the guy she came with passed out. Our tweener got down off the bunk without even saying anything, did some more lines and left.

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John Mayer and Ke$ha Flirt On Twitter

John Mayer is such a..well do I have to even say it. He always promises to stop being a jackass but he never follows through. Even after that disastrous Playboy interview he is still trying to work his Playa magic on every blonde in town. Even the young trashy ones. John has been flirting with Ke$ha via Twitter. Over the weekend, he asked his fans to stop denying their own love for her and own up to the fact that they like her music. He then sent out a personal message to the Tik Tok singer.

“Dear Ke$ha, you have won me over with your tricks and charms and I must tell you I really like your song. Though I must add I tried brushing with a bottle of Jack and I chipped a tooth on the glass. Where might I remit an invoice?”

And because she is such an intelligent young woman she fired back with a line from her new song. Presumably because she could think of nothing else to say. Although he’s been known to go for the dumb ones…this chick is now where near clever enough to match wits with the Playa.

“Dear John Mayer. Don’t be a little bitch wit ur chit chat. Jus $how me where ur dick’s at . x”

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Keira Knightley’s “Misanthrope” Stage Success

Spending another evening onstage, Keira Knightley was spotted leaving the Comedy Theatre following a performance of “The Misanthrope” in London, England on Monday night (March 1).

Clad in a black top, jeans and a black scarf, the “Atonement” actress partook in the usual post-show routine, greeting fans and posing for pictures before calling it a night.

Recently having turned down the opportunity to partake in the fourth installment of “Pirates of the Caribbean,” Miss Knightley has found her fair share of success on the theatre stage.

Keira finds herself among the nominees for Best Supporting Actress at the Olivier Awards - which will be handed out in London on March 21.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: “Remember Me”

Making his much-anticipated arrival on the red carpet, Robert Pattinson was all smiles as he turned up for the New York City premiere of “Remember Me” on Monday night (March 1).

Held at the Paris Theatre, the “New Moon” hunk looked ever-so-handsome in a spiffy suit as he was joined by his lovely co-stars, Emilie de Ravin and Ruby Jerins, as well as girlfriend Kristen Stewart.

hitting the press circuit full throttle, Robert made an appearance on the “Today” show earlier in the morning while also fitting in a stop with “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”.

Meanwhile, both Mr Pattinson and Miss de Ravin will be heading into “The View” for a guest spot on Tuesday (March 2), with Robert then scheduled to drop by “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” later in the day.

As for “Remember Me,” the movie is due out in theaters on Friday, March 12th, with a synopsis via IMDB describing the film as “a drama centered on two lovers whose newfound relationship is threatened as they try to cope with their respective family tragedies.”

Katy Perry More Of A T Swizzle Than A GaGa!

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Katy Perry is gracing the cover of this month's Nylon magazine, and she not only spills the deets on her new tunes and Russell Brand, but she gives her thoughts on her partners in pop music - including GaGaloo, Ke$ha, Rihanna and Taylor Swift!!

On differentiating herself from the other pop princesses:
"You've got GaGa, who's like, from outer space; you've got Ke$ha, who's the beer-drinking, house-party girl; and then you've got Rihanna, who's transforming the urban world into her own outer space. But I feel like you're missing an Alanis Morissette, in 2010. I love how she was a voice for a lot of people who couldn't explain their feelings. But it's not like I'm not gonna compete. I love a good dose of healthy competition. It's not going to be the same that they're doing…"

On how she's really just Taylor Swift:
"Sometimes I really feel like I'm more of a Taylor Swift. She tells stories, and I think that's why she resonates with a lot of people. She hits the hidden chord in them [where they say], 'Oh my God, I've been through that too,' or 'You said it in a way I could never explain.'"

On how she had to go through the five stages of GaGa to reach OBSESSION:
"When I heard The Fame Monster, I was like, 'What the fuck is she talking about - teeth and he ate my heart and monster and dance in the dark and shit?' I thought she was such a shock jock. Then I saw her on the American Music Awards, and I was like, 'You're an animal of another kind, and we need you!' She's amazing. She's an entertainer, a visual arts. And her lyrics do mean things when you actually break them down."

On her British boo:
"Love has really affected [my songwriting]. I know how to handle a man now. So it's talking about the love rather than, you know, being annoyed with boys. He's like Jim Morrison meets Charles Manson meets Jesus meets a little bit of Elvis. He's a walking genius. Just standing next to him makes me smarter. He's good for me. He's not a pussy in any way, shape or form. He's the boss; he calls the shots. But I like that. I've been waiting for someone I couldn't steamroll."

Well spoken, Mizz Perry!!

We're happy to hear you're in such a nice place romantically and creatively, and we're THRILLED to hear your new music!!