Rachel Uchitel Barred From Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant

She'd be down, but due to her settlement with Tiger Woods, Rachel Uchitel cannot participate in the mistress beauty pageant that Howard Stern wants to throw.

Sad, we know. But this is Howard Stern we're talking about. He is a resourceful, driven individual, and he's not about to let this genius idea fall by the wayside.

One of Rachel's friends approached Howard's people today, asking that a cardboard version of Rachel in various states of dress could compete in the pageant.

Yes, really. Stern's show is trying to put it together and offer a $100,000 prize. Best of all? He's already got four Tiger Woods mistresses lined up to take part.

Living, breathing ones!

Rachel Uchitel was Tiger Woods' favorite mistress, and the first to be exposed. She'd likely win a beauty contest of all of his mistresses, if she were allowed to take part.

He's not saying who, but you know Jaimee Grubbs is game, and rest assured, a cardboard cutout of Rachel Uchitel could still easily win this title.

Joslyn James, Tiger? Really? Theresa Rogers? Honestly, dude?

In case you were unaware, the reason Uchitel can't participate is because of theseven-figure deal she signed with his camp to keep quiet about their affair.

This apparently wouldn't constitute discretion ... wonder why.

Posted in: Howard Stern,Rachel Uchitel,Tiger Woods