Tori Spelling to Pen Third, Useless Memoir

It's one of the most embarrassing facts we've ever come across:

Each of Tori Spelling's first two memoirs ranked on New York Times-bestsellier's list, with Mommywood and sTORItelling combining to sell over 800,000 copies.

While our staff racks our brain to come up with a single reason why anyone would care about this washed-up actress' take on family life, we're sad to report that she isn't done. A third book, tentatively titled unchartered terriTORI, is scheduled to hit stores in June.

"I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level," Spelling told People. ""Whenever something happens that makes me laugh or if I remember something in the middle of the night that I want to share, I jot the experience down."

Expect the nauseating tome to cover tabloid scrutiny of Spelling's weight; her contentions relationship with mother Candy; and life with husband Dean McDermott.

Other rumored titles for the book include:

• TORIble: My Guest-Starring Stint on 90210
• Self-ExplanaTORI: Stuff I should have said in my previous two memoirs
• DefamaTORI: A shameless attempt to cash in
• An ObligaTORI Attempt to Remain Relevant
• Downward TrajecTORI: My Career in a Nutshell
  

Posted in: Tori Spelling