January 8, 2011

Tale of the Tape: Ted Williams vs. Ted Williams!

They share the same name, but little else.

In this edition of the THG Tale of the Tape, we compare Rex Sox legend Ted Williams with golden-voiced homeless man Ted Williams. What are their similarities? Differences? Who will prevail in a personal 10-round battle? Let's find out...

1. NICKNAME ...
Ted Williams: Teddy Ballgame
Ted Williams: The Man with the Golden Voice
Edge: Ted Williams (Homeless dude)

Baseball Ted WilliamsTed Williams Picture

2. SIGNIFICANCE of #9...
Ted Williams: Jersey number
Ted Williams: Number of kids
Edge: Ted Williams (Homeless dude)

3. FINAL AT-BAT...
Ted Williams: Home run
Ted Williams: TBD
Edge: Ted Williams (Red Sox player)

4. MOST INFAMOUS SCANDAL...
Ted Williams: Freezing of corpse
Ted Williams: Possible work as a pimp
Edge: Ted Williams (Red Sox player)

5. PERMANENT RESIDENCE...
Ted Williams: Cooperstown, New York
Ted Williams: N/A
Edge: Ted Williams (Red Sox player)

6. FAMOUSLY HIT...
Ted Williams: .406
Ted Williams: It off with the nation
Edge: Tie.


Ted Williams Voiceover

7. HELPED INSPIRE...
Ted Williams: Roy Hobbs in The Natural
Ted Williams: Bored workers in cubicles everywhere
Edge: Ted Williams (Homeless dude)

8. CAREER HITS...
Ted Williams: 2,654 (MLB)
Ted Williams: 455,676 (YouTube)
Edge: Ted Williams (Homeless dude)

9. MOST MEMORABLE SHOT...
Ted Williams: 520-foot blast into right field stands at Fenway
Ted Williams: These
Edge: Ted Williams (Red Sox player)

10. FAVORITE STRETCH OF HIGHWAY...
Ted Williams: Ted Williams Tunnel on I-90
Ted Williams: Anything providing shelter
Edge: Ted Williams (Red Sox player)

THE VERDICT: This one was close. But the Hall of Famer takes it by a final count of 5-4-1. If the other Williams takes full advantage of his second chance - whether it's giving speeches to addicts or driving in a key playoff run - we may have to revisit this Tale.

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