January 13, 2010

Tila Tequila Records: Hilariously, Supposedly Coming Soon!

Tila Tequila has been very, very, very, very, very busy Tweeting.

Somehow, though, in between bitter, nonsensical messages aimed at Casey Johnson's friends and family, Tila has found time to start her own record label. Seriously.

Well, seriously if you believe a word Tila Tequila writes and says. On her official blog, this is how the certifiable nut job explains her latest endeavor:

I am EXTREMELY excited to announce that now have my very own RECORD LABEL!!!!!!! It's just called "TILA TEQUILA RECORDS" because that name is trademarked already so I might as well use it for the Record Label too! For a long time I have been trying to get this up and going since the beginning of this year and now it's FINALLY DONE!!!!!!! IT is OFFICIAL! Tila Tequila has her own record label "TILA TEQUILA RECORDS!"

Twitting Twit

Why should you choose this label over pretty much any other option? Tila lists a few reasons:

  • A new artist signed at a "Major Record Label" is about 90% likely to "end up miserable and broke" because the album will never be released and/or promoted.
  • Tila will "INSTANTLY, literally give you overnight fame."
  • She won't take any commission off your record sales.
  • YOU WILL BECOME A MAJOR SUPERSTAR FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY "SUPERSTAR!"
  • Tequila is "a young, hot, sexy biatch who is relentless and passionate in what she does!"
  • Artists under Tila's label will accompany her on tours around the world and receive free first class trips. She will set them up with personalized merchandise and YouTube channels that make money.

In the end, Tequila writes "I am the new P.DIDDY except I'm in my 20's, FEMALE, and BOSS BITCH!"

So... what are you waiting for, aspiring singers? Forget American Idol auditions. Forget local club or bar performances. You wanna make it big? Tila is just a website away!

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