February 18, 2010

Jessica Simpson: Betrayed By John Mayer!

Most weeks, OK! Magazine straight up invents news. It's what they do.

This week, it's trying a different tack, reporting an actual story we already know, but with sensationalistic, misleading headlines enticing you to read it all again!

According to this venerable publication, Jessica Simpson was "stunned" last week as she awoke to texts, e-mails and Tweets regarding that douche John Mayer.

Her ex-flame made the masses cringe when he referred Jessica to “crack cocaine" and “sexual napalm” that he "could not stop f*%king" in a Playboy interview.

Classy guy. But is "Betrayed" the right word, OK!? Is it really a "sex scandal"? Guy nailed a famous, hot girl and bragged about it. We can move on any time.

Betrayed By a Douche

How could he sink so low, indeed?

“Jessica was shocked” at the report, a pal of the singer tells OK!. “She was really pissed off at first when she heard about it, then she read the whole interview, and the first thing that she said was, ‘I’m annoyed John would sink so low.’”

That's just how a Grade A Douchebag rolls.

Facing a barrage of criticism, for his comments about Jessica (and gay and racial slurs he made), John expressed regret that night at a concert in Nashville.

“I just want to play. I completely forgot about the people that I love and that love me. I’m out. I’m done. I quit the media game,” he told the crowd.

We should be so lucky.

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