February 27, 2010

Judge to Levi Johnston: Pay Up!

It's a good thing Levi Johnston posed for Playgirl: as a result, he should be able to actually support his son.

An Alaskan judge has sided with Bristol Palin and ordered Levi to pay $18,500 in back child support for 13-month-old son Tripp. The deadbeat father could have saved about $18,485 if he had just bought a pack of condoms back in the day.

Johnston must also shell out $1,688.42 per month in child support.

I Am Gonna Effing Murder You ...

Their sham of an engagement over, Bristol and Levi have gone from making public appearances to support Sarah Palin's political future to fighting it out in a courtroom.

"Bristol is pleased with the court rulings today and looks forward to resolving the remaining issues with Levi," said lawyer Thomas Van Flein, one of the few family employees that has not resigned due to Sarah Palin's selfish lunacy.

Bristol was present in the courtroom for the ruling. Johnston was not.

"I have received limited and sporadic financial assistance from Levi," she said in a statement, citing Johnston's $105,000 in 2009 earnings, versus his meager payments to her of $4,400.

Where will the pair go from here? Johnston might actually guest star on Desperate Housewives, while Bristol is booked for a hypocritical appearance on The Secret Life of an American Teenager. It's an ironic title for a show on which she'll cameo.

After all, Sarah Palin has gone out of her way to make sure Bristol's life is anything but secret.

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