March 16, 2010

Spencer Pratt Quits The Hills to Fight Cyber Threats

The Hills just isn't the same without Lauren Conrad. Take away the entertainment of Spencer Pratt and it's pretty much worthless ... which we'd better get used to.

The reality TV villain says he's leaving the show, and we think he's serious, to take his career in a surprising new direction: To protect America from cyber threats.

Seriously. People reported this.

"In the last few months I discovered a new passion and new purpose to my life," Pratt said. "With this in mind, I have decided to take a break from MTV's The Hills."

Now studying software engineering with a focus on encryption at USC, Spencer Pratt says he's off to work for American Defense Enterprises' cyber security division.

His first mission? Making sure all Heidi Montag pictures are secure!

V. I. Pimp

Our first, and hopefully not last line of defense against hackers.

"Upon learning of President Obama's declaration that the 'cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,' I have decided to refocus my energy and resources to helping America," he says.

"My new mission is this: To do my part in maintaining the technological superiority of the U.S. military and prevent emerging technologies from threatening our nation's security as we face this and other unprecedented challenges."

That's ... awesome actually. But this is Spencer Pratt. He can't possibly be serious, right? Is there a reality TV crew on call to film him fighting cyber-terrorists?

"I am saddened to take this break from MTV's The Hills," he admits. "However I feel I would not be honoring my country if I were to continue when I have the ability and opportunity to assist our nation against these prevalent threats."

Pratt's wife, Heidi Montag, remains on The Hills. Spencer has also been relieved of managerial duties for Heidi, who's now using Malibu-based psychic Aiden Chase.

Cyber Threat

These jerks have met their sleazy match.

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