Jessica Simpson Tries Hard But Still Disappoints

Jessica Simpson isn’t exactly wowing us these days with her sexy outfits, I know she’s accepted that she’s soft and proud of it, but a little cleavage would really make things pop… In my pants. I couldn’t resist. Seriously though, her boobs look like one of those tubular throw pillows you see on a senior citizen’s couch. The pattern isn’t really helping either, it reminds me of those Magic Eye posters from the 90’s where you squint and see something like a penguin on an ice flow. Well, I’m squinting and all I see are fading memories of Jessica Simpson’s tight little body. Sigh.

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Whitney Port Bikini Pictures

Yesterday’s pictures of Whitney Port’s delicious long legs got me in the mood for more, so thankfully she decided to head to the beach or pool or whatever to get some sun on those things. Here she is doing her best to get my attention by fiddling with her bikini top. Silly girl, that’s not going to work on me, I’m far to worldly to fall for such a pedestrian move. Although, she’s really getting in there, like she’s trying to radio Tokyo with her nipples. Wouldn’t that be awesome, talking to some asian chick on Whitney Port’s boobs. I’ve completely lost my train of thought haven’t I? Damnit!

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Michelle Branch Is Inked

It took me a while to write this post because I had to do a little research to remind myself who this Michelle Branch chick was. After about three minutes of searching and five minutes of online sudoku I’m still not sure what she’s famous for. In any case, whoever she is, she looks pretty hot showing off her stripper tramp stamp tattoos in Inked Magazine. I think that just about covers it, oh I forgot to say something about her boobs, or lack there of. Done.

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Elle Macpherson’s Supermodel Leather Pants

Here’s former supermodel Elle Macpherson in Paris, I think, wearing a nice pair of leather pants showing us that she hasn’t missed a step when it comes to hotness. I for one am really glad to see that leather pants are making a comeback, I can finally dig my sweet pair out from under the stairs. I wonder if I still have the matching tie. What do you mean they’re only coming back for women? What kind of sexist garbage is that? I suppose it’s for the best, my ass looked a little too good in those things anyway, it could be dangerous.

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Gemma Atkinson Lingerie Photos

It’s been a while since we got any photos of Gemma Atkinson worth writing about, and today the ultra curvy British model is making up for it. Gemma, who was photographed for Ultimo Lingerie a few weeks ago for their new promotional campaign, was also featured by Rock Chick this week, and the result is nothing short of spectacular, as you can see below.

For those of you not familiar with Gemma Atkinson, let me just say that this babe was the hottest thing to come out of England back at the beginning of this decade, when she played Lisa Hunter on the teenage soap opera Hollyoaks. After that, she got her boobs enlarged and went to a 34E, which launched her into the risqué lingerie modeling arena. Ever since, Gemma has posed for the world’s most popular lingerie companies, with results as hot as these fabulous photos.

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Kristen Stewart Couldn’t Grope Dakota Fanning

Kristen Stewart has been busy promoting her upcoming movie The Runaways, which tells the story of the 1970’s teenage rock group and their ups and downs in a decade when being part of an all-female band was not acceptable. In an interview about her role in the flick, Stewart admitted she was literally told not to grope Dakota Fanning during a sex scene because her co-star was just 15 years old at the time of the filming. The start of the Twilight movie series, who is only 19 years old herself, told Access Hollywood:

She was 15, and I wasn’t allowed to grope her. I’m actually not kidding, there are major restrictions that I don’t remember (from) when I was younger. […] I don’t want to give anything away. It’s a really passionate, hardcore scene.

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Corey Haim Dating Daisy De La Hoya When He Died

As I knew it would, the Corey Haim story is getting sadder and sadder. Not only did he have eight film projects in the works, he had a girlfriend. After being introduced by Corey Feldman, Haim started dating Daisy de la Hoya, the star of VH1’s reality show Daisy of Love.

“I’m sooooooo devastated right now,” de la Hoya tweeted this morning. “This is the worst day ever I can’t believe this.”

The romance between the two was very new. “Daisy loved The Lost Boys, and she always had a crush on Corey,” a source close to De la Hoya tells us. “Their first official date was two weeks ago, but they’d been hanging out a little while before that. Corey invited her to the Playboy Mansion. Corey Feldman came, too.”

De la Hoya apparently wanted to help Haim with his struggles. “Daisy knew Corey was doing a lot of drugs—especially prescription meds,” our source says. “She thought he was kind and talented, and she wanted to rescue him. She became his confidant over the last few weeks. He told her a lot.”

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Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler: Bounty Hunter Premeire In London

The hair. The legs. The tan. The chin.

Jennifer Aniston looks fab as usual at the London gala premiere of Bounty Hunter. I can count on my hands the number of movies I’ve liked that Jen has made, but I’m actually excited to see this one. I think pairing these two together was brilliant. The chemistry between them just jumps out of the pictures and knocks you on your butt.

Maybe they could be the newer, sexier, funnier Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.

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Who Knew Kristen Stewart Had Such Great Legs?

Kristen Stewart rocked some sexy Christian Louboutin leopard print heels on The Tonight Show Wednesday night. KS was on the show to promote the soon-to-be-released The Runaways.

I missed the show so when I saw these pictures of the legs on this kid I was shocked. I’ve seen her legs before in a mini but she’s usually rockin’ sneakers with it so it ruins the whole leg line. These are the hottest shoes I’ve even seen this chick wear.

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Justin Timberlake Parties With TAO Go-Go Dancer

Just as the tabloid headlines are reading things like “Justin and Jessica Are Not Breaking Up” and “Jessica Biel Loves Justin Timberlakes Mother” these saucy pictures pop up.

When you are Justin Timberlake you have chicks like this throwing themselves at you daily/nightly and I’m sure this is just a case of another ho trying to get up all on JT. But he sure doesn’t seem to mind the attention.

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Lady Gaga & Beyonce “Telephone” Video – Watch It Here

Finally, the Lady Gaga & Beyonce joint “Telephone” was release today.

It’s pretty steamy…but that was to be expected.

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Katherine Heigl (Finally) Leaving Grey’s Anatomy

I’m so over Katherine Heigl. I really wanted to like her when she first busted out on Grey’s Anatomy but she’s been such a twit over the years that I really could care less about her anymore. I won’t bore you with details about how she has annoyed me in the past..I’ll just report that it looks like she has finally pissed off the powers that be at Grey’s and they are cutting the cord.

Series creator Shonda Rhimes has reportedly agreed to release the star from her contract. Heigl was scheduled to come back to the show on March 1 following a personal hiatus to shoot a film and spend time with her adopted daughter. But Heigl has not yet returned to work to make the final five episodes of the season, and sources say the two sides have mutually decided to terminate the relationship now.

Oh well..she’s got that stellar movie career to fall back on. Ha!

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Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves – Bravo Upfront Party

The most stoned celebrity couple…ever. At least Matthew McCnaughey and Camila Alves sure look half-baked at the Bravo Upfront party this week.

If you aren’t addicted to Bravo reality shows like I am, Camila Alves is this season new host for Sheer Genius. And she sucks. I”m pretty sure she only got the gig because she is Matt’s baby-mama.

Believe it or not, Camila is actually a model. Although if these pictures are any indication she is not photogenic.

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National Enquirer Tries To “Out” Jeremy Renner

Queerty.com reports that the National Enquirer is trying to out The Hurt Locker’s Jeremy Renner.

Their reasons, not because he didn’t hook-up with Jessica Simpson when he had the chance. It’s because he brought his mom to the Oscars, he likes showtunes, and he prefers to play “emotionally complex characters.”

Enquirer has a track record of attemping to out celebrities; Meredith Baxter, Larry Birkhead and Gayle King. They also published a quote from Renner’s old acting coach, who spoke with another publication some time ago.

“I have never had the pleasure of meeting Jeremy’s boyfriend, but the fact that Jeremy is gay has never been a primary concern.”

Why does Hollywood try to hide homosexuality? No one cares. Ellen Degeneres has the most popular talk show on television, everyone loves Anderson Cooper and we all still believe Neil Patrick Harris’s character on How I Met Your Mother. Then again, Rupert Everett claims coming out ruined his career. And there is a reason that Tom Cruise, Vin Diesel and Ryan Seacrest are still in the closet.

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